Dear Neighbor:

Ok, I don't know which one of you it is, but I have been stealing your WiFi for the last couple of months, and I would like to say that I think it's very selfish and unneighborly for you have secured your router. That hurts!

I was in the middle of downloading a great video last night, Janet Jackson nude sunbathing, and just as it starts to get good, BAM! No connection? I refreshed my available connections and I see, SECURE? I tell you, that's rude! I had to whipe off, go to Walgreens, and buy one of those 300 foot phone cords just to finish my night. Fortunately I had my uncle's AOL password.

Do you know how much it sucks to download for 37 mins only to view a 1 minuet and 37 second video. IT SUCKS! IT SUCKS BIG TIME! And now, how is my son going to go to Disney.com? Now I have to entertain that little fucker all day! YOU REALLY SUCK!

I thought that the blower was the end to being neighborly, you know after you cut your grass and simply blow your shit all over your neighbor's yard, and then he cuts his grass and blows your shit and his shit into his neighbor's yard and finally the poor bastard who doesn't have a blower has to pick up the entire neighborhood's shit! Well this tops that! If you're going to have a wireless router, secure it from the start!

Thanks for fucking me,
Your Neighbor

P.S. Do you think I could hook a splitter up to your cable?