The other night my girlfriend and I are watching Seinfeld, and the episode happens to be The Gymnast. Then comes that one line where the gymnast tells Jerry of what she'd heard about comedians and their supposed...legendary sexual prowess. Ultimately she tells Jerry: "You may tell jokes, Mr. Seinfeld, but you are no comedian."

I turn to my girlfriend: "So, uh...am I a comedian?"

Her response: "Honey, if you never told another joke in your life, you'd still be the greatest comedian I've ever known."

Ladies, I hope you were taking notes. Because that is how you get your man to take out the trash.