The American Public was overheard in a nail salon yesterday complaining about its Congress to a friend. Apparently, the Public was “totally fed up” with all of it.

“I’m soooo over this Congress,” said the Public. “Usually, after having the same Congress for a while, I can pick one or two Senators that I can tolerate being seen outside with. But this time I’m like “yecchh!”— the whole thing has got to go. I swear, sometimes I feel like pouring gasoline all over this Congress and tossing a match on it.”

“There’s nothing about this Congress I like anymore. I look at all these disasters and think ‘How the hell could I have voted for THAT?’ You'd think I'd have learned my lesson after my whole 1994 fiasco, but no! This is what I get for listening to all the so-called “experts.” They make you so afraid of being labeled “out of touch,”, “deluded” or “sympathizing with terrorists,” but sure enough, the whole thing becomes embarrassing in no time flat. Soon, the whole world has moved on, and there I am, stuck with a whole Congress full of losers, looking like a horse’s ass to boot.”

The Public then vowed to “clean house” in November, and get a whole new Congress. And all new shoes too.