Professor Gates! Please read my story and help! I'm a victim too!

I came home the other day and discovered I was locked out. So me and my Russian limo driver kicked the door in, and then a so called neighbor, who was clearly racist, called the cops on me because I’m Mexican.

When a Chinese police officer showed up outside my house and asked if I could come outside to talk with him I said, “NO I will not!! I'll talk to your mommi outside!”

I demanded to know who he was and he said he’s a sergeant or something investigating a break in and I said, “Why?!?! Cause I’m a Mexican Man in America?!!” 

He asked if I was alone, I told him “None of your Business, you racist cop! You don’t know who you’re messing with! I have a Masters Degree in Computer Science and I can make it so none of the Chinese food places in town can take orders over the internet!!! Don’t mess with me!” 

He kept going on and on about how he was just trying to investigate a possible break in, and just wanted to see my ID, so I threw my library card at him.  He stood there in shock, and I said “What?!!  Surprised to find out a Mexican man reads books, you racist pig!!!” and then I said, “You're racist because you see a nice house with a plasma TV and a PlayStation 3 and assume that a Mexican man cant possibly live here!!!” 

Then I called everyone I know to stand out there and watch as I walked outside my house and made a fool of this idiot with some of my other assumptions.  Anyway, cut to scene two, I got arrested because I’m Mexican.

Professor Gates, do you think you could help?  I tried emailing President Obama to see if he could do something, but he hasn’t gotten back to me.  I also emailed Batman, the incredible Hulk, the Green Lantern, and Spider-Man… all of which just sent back the standard fan club welcome letter which makes me think they haven’t really read my message at all!!! Is there no Justice in America!!!

RE: Gates' Police Report