I was working an event at the St. Patrick’s Day parade and this midget in a leprechaun costume comes up to me. He is working the event too and I said hi because I figured we would both be miserable together. Well he says hi back and starts hitting on me. I am being hit on by a midget in a leprechaun costume. He tells me he has all these house boats and is being paid a lot of money and that I should go drinking with him afterward. I declined because well….I am not into drinking with midgets dressed like leprechauns. That’s when he informs me I am lying about who I am and am not merely a street vendor working an event. That I am in fact married and have a rich husband. That I am lying and that I have so much money I should give him some. He starts to harass me further and tells me he knows I sell my ass on the weekend in the city. That’s when I snap. I tell him to get away from me or I will make midget tossing a new favorite New York St. Paddy’s Day past time. And there are enough drunken New York Irishmen who will participate, trust me. He goes to kick me I the shins and that’s when I inform him that if he does that he will be on the same level as Gary Coleman. But apparently Gary Coleman is what all midgets aspire to be. That’s when the leader of the midgets comes over and tells him its time for his bathroom break and they are replacing him with another midget working as a leprechaun for the day. The midget captain apologizes for his behavior and said this particular troublesome midget has been drinking since nine. Soon I myself was relieved and heard the song Short People by Gary Newman. Ahhhh the luck of the Irish. Love April