There is a new movie coming out called The International about an evil bank. How evil? Real evil. This is apparently an attempt capture the ol’ zeitgeist of current affairs. This has worked great in past movies such as The Net (the internet is evil) Strange Days (virtual reality not only will exist and matter, but it will also be evil) Anti-Trust (Microsoft is successful and therefore evil). Oh did I say it worked great? I meant to say they were all really really shitty shitty movies. Not sure how I mixed that up.
Now the idea of a evil bank sounds like it might be a little complicated and over the heads of the average movie-goer so the trailer makes sure to make in nice and easy for everyone to understand. Oh did I say that they make it easy to understand? I meant to say they made it fucking stupid. What is with me today?
The trailer starts with a person using an ATM:
Then the following cryptic message, meant to pull you into the exciting world of banking:



Whoa. Something else? Something else? Other than what? They don’t say. Normal bank stuff I guess. Okay, you have me hooked trailer, this bank is up to no good. You even have the guy from Children of Men involved. But now you better bring the thunder so I know you just how high the stakes are:
HOLY SHIT! HANG ON! NO WAY! Is he going to push the murder button on the ATM? He better not! HE BETTER NOT! This movie is fucking crazy! It looks like the screen says something like “Believing in A Better Tomorrow” but this bank doesn’t do that. They have ATMs that murder people somehow! ADMs is more like it! This bank is bad motha flippin news! My bank just tries to scam me into a bullshit credit protection service and gives me free pens that don’t work that well. These guys murder from touch screens!
The extortion and corruption are even scarier because I have no idea how they would work. I mean I’ve been extorted by an ATM before but it was in a bodega or a strip club, not an actual bank. ($2.75 my ass!) I guess for the extortion you have to bring your victim to another ATM. Corruption would be a little harder though, I imagine there is a lot of face time & paper work required to pull off something like that.
This is clearly a movie meant for the summer blockbuster season, not February. Boy are the movie studios faces gonna be red when they realize their mistake!
This almost reminds me of another trailer I saw for a movie about an evil fast food chain:

That number 5 will go straight to your hips!
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