A British newspaper published a photo of Michael Phelps inhaling from a marijuana pipe. Phelps says he only took one hit, but he held it for three minutes.

...2 medical marijuana clubs in Oakland, CA were broken into and robbed of their inventory.  Police have no suspects.  Operators of the clubs believe the robberies are connected and are launching a joint investigation. 

17-year-old Tyler Frost, a senior at a fundamentalist Baptist high school in Ohio that forbids dancing, rock music, hand-holding and kissing, will be suspended if he takes his girlfriend to HER public high school prom, said his principal Tim England.

Apparently England would rather Frost stay at home - where he can smoke weed while listening to Metallica, masturbate to a Kim Kardashian video, or get lucky and sleep with his girlfriend, who won't be attending the dance without him.

Now that I think about it, why did I go to MY prom? 400 bucks for a buffet and Journey. And of course, post-prom masturbation.

Police in Dallas pulled over a van and found over 100 lbs. of marijuana stuffed inside of a cadaverless casket. Not since the death of Ronald Reagan has a casket carried so much dope.

...a group of marijuana growers are suspects in murder of DEA official....law enforcement officials investigating the case say they will solve the case, and are leaving no stoner unturned. 

My father is very unique. He's the only person I know who can be a cranky asshole after smoking pot. To be fair, he's smoked a lot of pot in his time...for medicinal purposes! He suffers from having to be a responsible human being, a condition he was diagnosed with coincidentally around the time I was born. Anyways, he's smoked a lot of pot, so he probably has built a tolerance to its effects. His brain's like Superman, and the marijuana machinegun's bullets of openmindedness, creativity and relaxation are just bouncing off it PING PING PING!!!  

Michael Phelps is up for four ESPY nominations. Which is great, because an ESPY would make an awesome bong.

Governor Schwarzenegger says California should debate legalizing marijuana.  Naturally Californians were way ahead of him and were already debating Dominos or Pizza Hut.

There's a lesson to be learned from the man in Dallas,who was caught with 100 pounds of marijuana in a coffin.Don't put all your pot in one casket! 

A dog that ran off from its owner in Seattle's Seward Park found and ate some marijuana and got high.  The owner knew the dog had eaten marijuana because it had a glazed look in its eyes, it staggered when it walked, and it ate an entire box of milk bones.

Michael Phelps is up for four ESPY nominations. Which is great, because an ESPY would make an awesome bong.