British scientists have applied for a patent to create a hybrid embryo of a human and a cow. The embryo would be used for stem cell research before being released to shop for a flat screen TV at Wal-Mart.

The University of Alabama is going to display its new national championship football trophy at a place where most anyone can see it: Wal-Mart. In order to eliminate any confusion the following sign will be displayed as well: “This is the BCS National Championship football trophy. It has no affiliation with NASCAR,

WWE or The Blue Collar Comedy Tour.”

Wal-Mart has introduced a line of caskets for sale in its online store.  To better serve the typical Wal-Mart consumer, they’ll offer three sizes – large, extra-large and “We’ll have to remove a wall.”

 Wal-Mart Stores Inc. will cut about 11,200 jobs at Sam's Club warehouses as it turns over the task of  product demonstrations to an outside company  A spokesman for Wal-Mart said the jobs will be outsourced to India.  So if you want to sample the onion dip before buying it, you'll have to fly to Calcutta.

About 1.5 million Graco strollers sold at Wal-Mart and other stores are being recalled after some children's fingertips were amputated by hinges on the products.

Although the "Marie Antoinette" strollers will no longer be sold, production of the new "Bris" model strollers is still being considered.

Did you ever notice that Home Depot has more Handicap Parking spaces then any other store in the Universe?

They must have 50 spots all along the front and they’re ALL empty.

NO handicap people are breaking down the doors to buy wood, or tools, or toilets, or whatever. They are not going to do home repairs. If you see a handicap spot with a car in it, stop and check who comes out of the store. 9 out of 10 times it’s some geek pushing his poor mom in a wheelchair. AND the only reason he took her there was because she hounded him for weeks to paint her drab crypt he has her locked in in the cellar.

The reason I brought this up is, today I went to Home Depot and there were no empty spots in the loading section and there was a long line of traffic waiting to load up And of course, all the handicap spots were empty and the only place to park was way out in the boon docks. I was a little upset because I was buying a bunch of plywood that I would have to drag back to my van. In the snow. And the wind. And the rain. And the cold.

So, after I park a way out in right field and I’m trudging back to the store I pass a car parked in the regular parking spots with a Handicap Parking Sticker hanging from the rear view mirror. Boy, was I steamed. I ran back to my car and wrote a note and went back and stuck it on their windshield.

I think I'm qualified to be a Wal-Mart greeter.I watch a lot of trailers,and most of it is trash. 

WalMart has begun upgrading their stores with "Project Impact". The aim is to spruce up their stores to appeal to a more "Target" or "Best Buy"-type clientele. 

Great, but, what are they going to do to spruce up the white-trash clientele they already have?

(With thanks to Silly Willy for the germ of the joke!)

A Roman Catholic priest was accused of shoplifting butter and a sofa cover at a Walmart in southern Illinois. Best game of Twister ever.

A Roman Catholic priest was accused of shoplifting butter and a sofa cover at a Wal-Mart in southern Illinois.  Considering he's a priest, only God knows what he was going to do with that...