With the high unemployment rate, it makes perfect sense for you ladies to consider the world's oldest profession.  Eliot Spitzer is offering top pay and ACORN will help you get a home. 

According to White House numbers, the Stimulus package has created about 650,000 new jobs. In a related story, the Department of Labor announced 650,000 new hires in unemployment offices nationwide.  

Unemployment is now 10.2 percent. How bad is the economy? The economy is so bad that Archie is pimping Betty AND Veronica. The economy is so bad that people are using the DMV as a portrait studio. The economy is so bad the former Miss USA, Carrie Prejean, had to pawn her implants. The economy is so bad, Donald Trump had to fire himself. The economy is so bad, the Three Little Pigs can't afford to get swine flu. The economy is so bad, the GEICO caveman ate the GEICO Gecko. The economy is so bad, Madonna adopted a baby from Detroit.

In his comments on the current jobless "recovery" yesterday, President Obama said he is looking "at new models for where future growth is going to come from." 

"We'll look at anything, except capitalism of course, that's crazy talk," he said.

ESPN fired Steve Phillips. But he’s already found a new job as a scout for David Letterman.
 

Recession ends in 79 metro areas.......unfortunately, the unemployment lines do not.

A United Airlines pilot was arrested at London's Heathrow Airport yesterday for being drunk .  The co-pilot allegedly blew the whistle on pilot Erwin Vermont Washington just moments before they were to take-off . Washington denied he was intoxicated at the time of his arrest . As Scotland Yard detectives escorted Mr Washington out of the cockpit and into a waiting police car, he was heard shouting,  " You damned Brits still can't get over losing the colony 230 years ago ! "   Asked what he will do for a job afterwards, Washington told a reporter " I'll probably sign-up with Northwest Airlines . "

The laid-off worker said he will file for unemployment.  

Dumb, Uneducated  Ugly Man 45 lazy, unemployed and not looking for work. I am new to this thing so I do not know what to write or how to treat a woman since I never had one. Unless you count blow up dolls. Looking for similiar woman that is ugly , low self esteem, divorced the bettter, in need of a real man . I want someone to wash my clothes and have sex whenever I want it. Not looking for intimate conversation but want a LTR leading to marriage and then arguments then divorce. Note very selective.Serious need only reply,

Two Ohio troopers have won back their jobs after being fired for pulling a KKK-type costume prank the day before Martin Luther King Day. An arbitrator ruled the firings violated a union contract. Upon hearing this, President Barack Obama’s cabinet suggested getting the parties together for a drink, but instead the president announced he will blow up the state of Ohio.

DId you ever notice on-line dating services promise the most beautiful woman for the man. Sexy, Sensitive loving... Then you meet them and they are like a dog.I don't know about you. I just say I am ugly, fat, lazy, unemployed and bath weekly. Get a lot of chicks that way. I usually put a picture of 1000 pound man as my picture. I have a lot of fun.