Not guilty?  Oh, well give him a passport, money and allow him to be free to run amok inside our borders.  I'm sure he's no threat whatsoever. 

I wonder if Tom Cruise is his lawyer?  I would love to be in court everyday screaming "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" at inappropriate times during the case. 

And when the judge says "Order in the court!" I'll say, "YOU WANT ME IN THAT TOWER, YOU NEED ME IN THAT TOWER!" 

Tom Cruise says that the Church of Scientology helped cure his disability.

Richard Simmons has announced he is joining the Church, stating "If they can cure that guy of being gay, there's hope for me yet."

A meaner, tougher, and much more dominant Ann Robinson will be getting her old show back next season .  Scatter-brained, self indulgent,  lady celebrity contestants will be competing in this updated version of " The Weakest Link  " . The opening show will include : Jessica Simpson , La Toya Jackson , Britney Spears , Lindsay Lohan , Mariah Carey , Sarah Palin , Vanna White , Paris Hilton , Beyonce Knowles , and Kendra Wilkinson .  Originally the show was to run for only 30 minutes but Robinson was able to convince the producer she needed at least one hour .   " These 10 Frivolous and Vacuous Tarts are incredibly stupid .  I am going to have to repeat each question at least a half dozen times and kick a few butts before i get any responce . "  Robinson said ................  Tom Cruise and Joe Biden will headline the all male sequel .......................................................................................(kascha-whitney) 

Taller people are happier on average than shorter people, according to a U.S. study.  In a related story, Tom Cruise checked into a mental health facility yesterday suffering from depression.

 A three-foot penguin named Nils Olav was knighted in London on Friday.  Nils Olav is the shortest recipient of this honor in history and will likely hold this record until knighthood is bestowed upon Tom Cruise.    

In the latest issue of British GQ, actress Nicole Kidman reveals that she’s done some “strange sexual stuff”… like marrying Tom Cruise. 

Tom Cruise says he has no interest in modern gadgets and refuses to have a cell phone, watch or an e-mail address.  ***MARLAR: I never thought I’d say this, but I envy Tom Cruise.

Scientologists kept handing me flyers to see a movie about Dianetics. I didn't go because I think I've seen enough shitty movies starring Tom Cruise.