Joan Rivers and Larry King should hook up and carbon date. 

Rumor has it Rosie O'Donnell and wife Kellie Carpenter may be heading for splitsville . Rosie admitted she had a feeling once they made gay marriage legal this would happen ....  In other news, the producer of  Paris Hilton's Best Friend Forever show have offered Rosie O'Donnell her own reality series next season .  Some possible titles for the show are  " Who Wants To Marry An Obese Obnoxious Lesbian " or  " The Dykes Next Door  " and finally ...  " The Rosie O'Donnell Bad Butch Needs A Hot Bitch Show  "

Recently when Joan needed a blood transfusion it was determined she had the rarest blood type a human can have, Botox Positive.

Police said trespassing charges would not be filed against Rosie O'Donnell.

In related news, Joan Rivers cancels big Democratic fund raiser.  

Whoopi Goldberg stated on The View that Roman Polanski didn't really

commit rape,rape.So perhaps he'll find accomodations in Sing Sing.

...2 Queens New York retirees have developed a new social networking site for senior citizens.  The site has been operational for a couple of weeks now.  Joan Rivers was the first celebrity to sign up.  The site can be found by going to www.faceliftbook.com 

Nevertheless, ABC has no plans to cancel "The View."

Sarah Palin has been a major voice in the opposition of President Obama’s healthcare reform proposal.  Palin first voiced her opinion on what she believes are Obama’s “Death Panels” on her Facebook page before  writing an op-ed in Wednesday’s New York Times.  Her political strategist has plans to post a video of her anti-healthcare reform speech on her MySpace page before she appears on The View.

Parenthetically, what's the contribution to the men in blue from the copper cartoonist that traces chalk outlines of homicide victims, alright?

Really, is a giant sized gingerbread man silhouette the pivotal point in cracking a cold case, huh?

I mean c'mon, has the alum from Stencil Art Academy gotten shelves full of citations from the mayor for his hop scotch detective digging?

Truth be told, I think in the past the commissioner probably encouraged the absurdity of the armature artistic arrester and I assume he adhered to it arrogantly, right?

 "Detective on behalf of the dept. I want you to know that…"

"Know that???"

"…That sure the DA had a signed confession, eye witness, and prints on the murder weapon but..."

"But???"

"…But your John Doe doodles on the pavement canvas beneath our feet is what keeps scum off the streets. You're the only thing standing between chalk and chaos."

"Yeah. Being a hero isn't a choice. It's just what I do."

Lets face it folks, from now on in the future the chalk chasers should color them in after they scribe the surrounding edge, you know?

Yeah that’s right, so it doesn't compare to a Salvador Dali homage to Casper.

Seriously how much of a clue could it be when it resembles a white shadow flattened by a steam roller, huh?

Look how are you going to get a hunch when they all mimic a pale power ranger Putty after being squeezed through a mail slot, okay?

Incidentally, listen nowadays who hasn't seen on TV when a police Picasso carbon copies the corpse with a thin white border before the carcass is hauled off to the morgue?

Bottom-line, if they are veraciously viewed as the star studded silver surfers of the squad then I would commit a crime on an enormous chalk eraser, boom!

Hey, it's the perfect crime, yeahhh!

And subsequently, you wouldn't even need an alibi, badabooyashaka!!!

Former “Smallville” co-star Sam Jones III was arrested in a federal sting yesterday and charged with conspiring to buy and distribute over 10,000 oxycodone pills in a ring that included several other people… Lex Luther, Bizarro and General Zod.