Former President George W. Bush made his debut as a motivational speaker Monday night, telling a Texas crowd it’s futile to waste energy chasing popularity.

The next stop on Bush’s speaking tour: a Texas rehab center… where he will tell patients that being an alcoholic and an addict doesn’t mean you can’t be President.

Bush will follow this up with an engagement at the National Convention for Motivational Speakers… where he will tell his colleagues that a poor vocabulary is, in fact, a prerequisite for motivational speaking.

An incinerator caught fire at the University of Texas in Galveston.  Authorities are still looking into the cause of the blaze. ***MARLAR: I’m thinking it had something to do with it being an incinerator.

The Obama administration should bar a $1.5 billion wind-farm project in Texas from receiving U.S. government stimulus funds because most of the power turbines would be made in China, Senator Charles Schumer said.   I say build the wind-farm in DC and power it with all the hot air coming from Congress. 

 A new poll has shown that women think that the ugliest men in the country are in El Paso. When they see a guy in that place the ladies all say the same thing, "I'll pass-o".

It's no fun being a sports fan in Houston,Texas.Kids are taught the Heimlich Maneuver at a very early age.

Delonte West plans to travel with the Cavaliers to Texas for their next two games. In fact, he's already called shotgun.
 

One Colorado county clerk has an unusual response to staff cuts caused by budget shortfalls: Don’t answer the phones. The El Paso County Clerk and Recorder’s Office stopped answering telephones in three offices last month. The change was ordered by County Clerk Bob Balink, who was forced to lay off 19 staffers late last year. El Paso county resident Jason Marriot was asked what he thought of the new policy. His only comment “How is that any different than what they used to do?”

I raise mechanical bulls down here in Texas.Some people say the nuts are a great delicacy.

Over the course of the past 3 years, at least 6 different Dallas cops (and their supervisors) ticketed at least 39 drivers for the “offense” of “driving while not speaking English”.

When Police Chief David Kunkle learned of the citations he lost his shit.

Pending cases will be dismissed, and those who paid the $204 fine for the charge, which does not exist in the city, will be reimbursed, Kunkle said.

However, all drivers cited for DWB (Driving While Black) are still expected to appear in court and pay the fine. 

Texas quarterback Colt McCoy says his injured thumb is okay. Hopefully, because after the Rams draft him, he'll need it to hitch hike out of St. Louis.