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 Dear Star Jones,
I
just heard that you and Al Reynolds have finalized your divorce. I
understand your wish for privacy, since the media has been all over
your marriage, especially after Al's announcement that he used to be
gay. I'd like to offer some advice, but I need to know one thing: Have
you both started seeing other men?
The Star Savior
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Entertainment Tonight has confirmed that Star Jones, has ended her three-and-a half-year marriage to Al Reynolds. In a statement, the attorney and former co-host of The View, said: The dissolution of a marriage is a difficult time in anyone’s life that requires privacy with one’s thoughts. I have committed myself to handling this situation with dignity and grace and look forward to emerging from this period as a stronger and wiser woman.”
Translation: After eating myself into an ice cream induced coma, look for me on the 2010 season of Celebrity Biggest Loser.
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While she skirted questions about her dramatic weight loss for years, talk show personality Star Jones has now admitted to having gastric bypass surgery. She added that water is wet.
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CHRIS ROCK TO APPEAR AT BONNAROO
ROCK JOINS STELLAR COMEDY LINEUP INCLUDING ZACH GALIFIANAKIS, JANEANE GAROFALO, MIKE BIRBIGLIA, JIM NORTON AND DAVID CROSS AT ’08 FESTIVAL WITH PEARL JAM, METALLICA, JACK JOHNSON, KANYE WEST, ALISON KRAUSS & ROBERT PLANT, MY MORNING JACKET, WILLIE NELSON, THE RACONTEURS, THE MARS VOLTA AND MORE
TICKETS ON SALE SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16 AT 12PM EST
New York, NY. Thursday, February 14, 2008: Superfly Productions and A.C. Entertainment are proud to announce that legendary comedian Chris Rock will perform at the 2008 Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival. Rock will do a special one-hour set on Bonnaroo’s main stage in front of one of the largest audiences ever for a comedy show. The festival, to be held June 12-15 on a 700-acre farm in Manchester, Tennessee, will also present Pearl Jam, Metallica, Jack Johnson, Kanye West and Alison Krauss & Robert Plant, along with over 100 other bands and dozens of activities and attractions. A full list of confirmed acts follows, with more to be announced in the coming weeks. Tickets go on sale exclusively through www.bonnaroo.com on Saturday, February 16 at 12:00 PM EST.
Furthering the Bonnaroo tradition of presenting the best acts on the comedy circuit, Rock joins an already stellar lineup of national headlining comics, including Zach Galifianakis, Janeane Garofalo, Mike Birbiglia Jim Norton, Brian Posehn and David Cross, who will all perform at the festival’s onsite comedy club. (Bonnaroo regular Cross will host “Late Time Chat About,” a nighttime live talk show complete with a house band, comic skits and special guests.) The air-conditioned tent venue has hosted hundreds of hilarious sets since its inception in 2004, including appearances by Dave Attel, Demetri Martin, Flight of the Conchords and Lewis Black, who told fans at Bonnaroo 2007, “This moment that we’re sharing right now is as good as it’s gonna get.” Rock’s appearance on the main stage cements Bonnaroo’s important role in the comedy world while giving fans a chance to witness one of the greatest comics of our time in a magical festival setting.
The largest and most revered music and camping event in the country, Bonnaroo has elevated the American rock festival to an unprecedented level. As the only round-the-clock major U.S. music festival, Bonnaroo packs an unparalleled amount of entertainment options into its four days. The event offers attendees the amenities and community spirit of a small city, with 24 hours of activities including a comedy club, cinema, silent disco, arcade, Internet cafés, restaurants, yoga classes and hundreds of high quality craft vendors. Since its inception in 2002, Bonnaroo has swiftly earned its status as the country’s premier music and arts event. According to the New York Times, “Bonnaroo has revolutionized the modern rock festival.” The event is famous for the incredible energy that emerges from its crowds, who make the Bonnaroo pilgrimage to immerse themselves in its unique camping community and witness four days of historical music moments. Honoring the festival’s unique !
spirit, Rolling Stone called Bonnaroo “one of the 50 moments to change the history of rock and roll.”
Official festival website is www.bonnaroo.com
2008 Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival Confirmed Artists:
Pearl Jam
Metallica
Jack Johnson
Kanye West
Chris Rock
Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
Phil Lesh & Friends
My Morning Jacket
The Allman Brothers Band
The Raconteurs
Willie Nelson
Death Cab for Cutie
B.B. King
Sigur Ros
Levon Helm and the Ramble on the Road
Ben Folds
O.A.R.
The Bluegrass Allstars Feat. Luke Bulla, Sam Bush, Jerry Douglas, Bela Fleck, Edgar Meyer and Bryan Sutton
M.I.A.
Umphrey's McGee
Iron & Wine
Yonder Mountain String Band
Swell Season
Talib Kweli
Derek Trucks & Susan Tedeschi’s Soul Stew Revival
Gogol Bordello
Broken Social Scene
Robert Randolph’s Revival
Rilo Kiley
Mastodon
Lupe Fiasco
Against Me!
Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings
Pat Green
Ozomatli
Tegan & Sara
Solomon Burke
Drive-By Truckers
!!!
The Avett Brothers
Israel Vibration
Abigail Washburn & the Sparrow Quartet featuring Bela Fleck
Phil Lesh / Larry Campbell / Jackie Greene
Aimee Mann
Ladytron
The Fiery Furnaces
Orchestra Baobab
Ghostland Observatory
Jose Gonzalez
Dark Star Orchestra
Minus the Bear
Donavon Frankenreiter
Lez Zeppelin
State Radio
Battles
Jakob Dylan
Two Gallants
The Sword
Vampire Weekend
Little Feat
Nicole Atkins and the Sea
The Felice Brothers
Mason Jennings
MGMT
The Lee Boys
Black Kids
Serena Ryder
Steel Train
Grupo Fantasma
Back Door Slam
Bonnaroo Comedy:
Chris Rock
Bonnaroo Late Time Chat About with David Cross
Janeane Garofalo
Zach Galifianakis
Jim Norton
Brian Posehn
Mike Birbiglia
John Mulaney
Michelle Buteau
More acts will be announced soon.
Tickets go on sale exclusively through www.bonnaroo.com on Saturday, February 16 at 12:00 PM EST.
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...Star Jones' 3 yr marriage has ended...she simply felt she could no longer maintain the hectic schedule of being a wife, a TV celebrity, and one of Jupiter's satellites at the same time...her plans for consoling herself include going on a twinkies/kool aide binge until she re-emerges as Solar System Jones.
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Dwyane Wade's Sports Grill in Boca Raton has closed after just two months. We wouldn't be surprised if the Heat follow suit. The restaurant's days were numbered when they combined the phrase "all you can eat" with Star Jones.
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Parenthetically, what's the contribution to the men in blue from the copper cartoonist that traces chalk outlines of homicide victims, alright?
Really, is a giant sized gingerbread man silhouette the pivotal point in cracking a cold case, huh?
I mean c'mon, has the alum from
Stencil
Art
Academy gotten shelves full of citations from the mayor for his hop scotch detective digging?
Truth be told, I think in the past the commissioner probably encouraged the absurdity of the armature artistic arrester and I assume he adhered to it arrogantly, right?
"Detective on behalf of the dept. I want you to know that…"
"Know that???"
"…That sure the DA had a signed confession, eye witness, and prints on the murder weapon but..."
"But???"
"…But your John Doe doodles on the pavement canvas beneath our feet is what keeps scum off the streets. You're the only thing standing between chalk and chaos."
"Yeah. Being a hero isn't a choice. It's just what I do."
Lets face it folks, from now on in the future the chalk chasers should color them in after they scribe the surrounding edge, you know?
Yeah that’s right, so it doesn't compare to a Salvador Dali homage to
Casper.
Seriously how much of a clue could it be when it resembles a white shadow flattened by a steam roller, huh?
Look how are you going to get a hunch when they all mimic a pale power ranger Putty after being squeezed through a mail slot, okay?
Incidentally, listen nowadays who hasn't seen on TV when a police Picasso carbon copies the corpse with a thin white border before the carcass is hauled off to the morgue?
Bottom-line, if they are veraciously viewed as the star studded silver surfers of the squad then I would commit a crime on an enormous chalk eraser, boom!
Hey, it's the perfect crime, yeahhh!
And subsequently, you wouldn't even need an alibi, badabooyashaka!!!
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