"My closest friends and I looked at the pictures for hours," the prominent lesbian continued, "we're inviting Miley to join us on our Caribbean cruises."

The new Judd Apatow film Funny People, starring Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen, opens on Friday. Rumor has it the film will reveal the key to a successful comedy career, Judaism.

Near the end of high school, I became a trained professional wrestler and thought about pursuing it after I finished school, although my parents were not keen on that idea at all. Then I switched to stand-up comedy, and all of a sudden my parents became very supportive and encouraging. Basically the message they sent me was that it's okay for me to have a drug problem, as long as I'm not grabbing another guy's ass while doing it. 

I used to be sad that I was blind. Then I met a man who saw Eddie Murphy's last 3 movies. 

Rumor has it Rosie O'Donnell and wife Kellie Carpenter may be heading for splitsville . Rosie admitted she had a feeling once they made gay marriage legal this would happen ....  In other news, the producer of  Paris Hilton's Best Friend Forever show have offered Rosie O'Donnell her own reality series next season .  Some possible titles for the show are  " Who Wants To Marry An Obese Obnoxious Lesbian " or  " The Dykes Next Door  " and finally ...  " The Rosie O'Donnell Bad Butch Needs A Hot Bitch Show  "

Bill Maher has hinted that he may be ready to marry, something he swore he would never do.   Bill now feels he is ready because he has met the right woman, has plenty of money, and is tired of being happy.  

In a horrible publicity stunt,comedian Roseanne Barr has posed as Hitler baking burnt Jew cookies. She is now on Schindler's Perpetual Shit List.

How nervous do I get? More nervous than a life insurance agent writing a policy for a Korean grocer or a Chinese restaurant delivery guy in Richmond,VA.

...Bravo TV, in order to boost its sagging ratings, has cancelled "Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List."  The show will be replaced by "Jenna Jameson: My Life On The DD-List." 

 A new study finds obese people have 8 percent less brain tissue than normal-weight individuals.  That explains Rosie O’Donnell’s stupidity!

Nate Robinson could be sidelined for two weeks after spraining his right ankle. Luckily, the Knicks will still be able to lose without him. Robinson should be able to heal from the bench, since he'll rarely have to standup and cheer.