High-school cheerleading is a contact sport and, therefore it’s participates cannot be sued for accidentally causing injuries, the Wisconsin Supreme Court ruled Tuesday. The court ruled that a former high-school cheerleader cannot sue a teammate who failed to stop her fall while she was practicing a stunt. The court also said that the injured cheerleader cannot sue her school district, but they did rule the injured cheerleader could bitch slap her teammate.

An Ohio man was shocked to have his high school ring back after 57 years at the wake for his high school sweetheart. Coincidentally, the ring was found 'inside' the corpse.

A campus religious leader is unhappy about a study at Duke University that invites female students to attend sex-toy parties.

The Rev. Joe Vetter, director of the Duke Catholic Center, condemns the study, saying that it excludes men and, thus, fails to promote relationships… between priests and young boys! 

An upstate New York high school senior suspended for 20 days because of a two-inch knife is fighting back. Matthew Whalen's family has retained a lawyer to appeal the suspension and clear his record. Lansingburgh Central School District Superintendent George Goodwin punished Whalen for having the small utility knife in a tool kit that was locked in the teen's car. Goodwin ruled it was a weapon that is forbidden on school property under Lansingburgh's "zero-tolerance" policy on weapons. Whalen -- an honor student, Eagle Scout and National Guardsman -- is scheduled to return to school Wednesday. He wants the suspension expunged because he's worried it might hurt his chances of gaining admission to the U.S. Military Academy.  ***MARLAR: These zero-intelligence policies leave no room for logic.  Why would you have to go out to your car to go get your knife when you could just as easily use a sharpened pencil to get the job done?  And pencils aren’t banned!  And if you really want to inflict pain on someone in the classroom, go for a paper cut with lemon juice – those aren’t banned yet either. 

The University of Chicago is joining a nationwide trend of allowing male and female students to live not just on the same dorm floor but in the same dorm room. The university’s open housing program won’t include freshman and students won’t need parental permission to participate. In a related story, the Chicago area retailers have noticed a significant increase in the sale of glow in the dark condoms, porn and night vision goggles.

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Footprints Filmworks—The Presidential Box—December 2025—FF News—
This is an E I G H T Page FF News Brief Bulletin so the footprints team suggests that you be nice and relaxed when viewing this bulletin. This is an Exclusive Interview with South Africa’s golden president and Nobel Peace Prize winner Mr. Omar Abdulla. Mr. Omar Abdulla is president of South Africa since 2023 and his serving his second year in office after serving on the 447 member South African government as Minister of Finance. Mr. Omar Abdulla is President of South Africa based on his overwhelming support from the South African community clinching 81 percent of the more than 50 million voters in South Africa. Mr. Omar Abdulla is known as “The Playboy President” earning this title after dating some of the most gorgeous women in the world. Mr. Omar Abdulla is known as the World’s Greatest President according to voters on Today’s Times Magazine.



South Africa the country occupies S P A C E that of France, Spain, England and Northern Asia. South Africa is rated the fifth most popular country in the world after the United States, India, China and Brazil. South Africa is known as “The Honeymoon Haven” hosting tourists who choose to escape once they get married. South Africa is rated as one of the most beautiful countries in the world according to voting polls on FF News.

South Africa-The country occupies the Southern Tip of Africa and is bounded by South West Africa, Namibia, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, and Swaziland and by the Atlantic and Indian Oceans- West and East. South Africa entirely surrounds Lesotho and partially surrounds the F O U R black states of Transkei, Bophuthatswana, Venda and Ciskei. (Before their independence)

--Footprints Filmworks Advert--

The Country’s history stretches 250 000 years where President of South Africa Paul Kruger and The Great trek had their tug of war on land and commercial properties. The country has long been plagued by foreigners who choose to escape from their daily chores and choose to relax in South Africa’s warm climate. The Country has long been raising eyebrows in local communities regarding forced links between Footprints allies and ANC Nationalists. The Country is rated as a country of national pride, accelerated growth, ever-growing technology and increasing national interest.



As the year is 2025 many local communities are creating havoc as many people choose to have their say about the country as a whole. A local listener on SABC Radio Richie Valens said that South Africa should look at growth internally rather than externally. South Africa which has the first teleport service which allows listeners from anywhere in the world to show their interest in the country can dial 911 and can speak to President of South Africa or whoever’s name they type in the database immediately, via voice prompts.


Valens asked Abdulla what he thought about the current Economic Stimulus Plan, currently stating that the South African economy was overleveraged and that financing from other countries should be opted out.
The Presidential Box—December 2025—http://www.footprintsfilmworks.com


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--Footprints Filmworks—The Presidential Box—December 2025—FF News
Abdulla responded to Valens statement by saying that South Africa was in a trade surplus due to the leveraging policy whereby government Reserve Banks lends money to other Reserve Banks at no interest charge. Abdulla added by saying that lending the money to other countries was a policy that created “Friendly Ties” amongst nations, both locally and internationally.


When Valens asked Abdulla what this meant he said that the community of South Africa was in “Friendly Ties” with second and third world countries to force barter deals and trade deals.

While on channel 911 another caller Sakeena Joosub asked Abdulla what he thought would be the longer term growth of South Africa including growth in terms of improvement of facilities for correctional services, improvement of facilities in the Laudium community, improvement of facilities in the greater Gauteng area and improvement of facilities in the medical centers.
Abdulla responded to Joosub’s remarks stating that the current Economic community was in tatters due to the neglect from the current South African Reserve Bank.


“South Africa has become a country like Japan. We cannot print more money because the country does not need money; the country needs support from our neighbors to sell our assets. The asset value of South Africa is valued at R700 trillion rand, yet if she shed 10 percent of our asset value we would generate double the income from our country’s partners. “Abdulla responded.


Abdulla has long been admired by both South African government nationalists and international allies. He has served on the United Nations Board as Executive Director and served his five years required to study at the footprints university. As South African’s once the student has passed their 12 grade examination, it is compulsory for them to study at any of the 9600 footprints universities in South Africa.
Although Mr. Omar Abdulla is serving his second year in office as President of South Africa, he is challenged by a group of Muslim Businessmen aiming at sabotaging his term in office and his businesses. At a failed assassination attempt on Inauguration day October 25 2023 Abdulla escaped unharmed and was rushed to a nearby hospital where he lived with Allah’s Grace.

--FF News Advert--



Whilst in office he is constantly challenged by Bantu and Shona rebels aiming at forcing him to make decisions that he would normally never approve off.

At a recent rally in Church Street thousands of protestors took to the streets to the offices of the presidency claiming that Members of Parliament were “Eating more than Sharing.” What this term meant in South African Parliament was that the law was not playing its tune to country citizens. According to South African Law citizens who do not earn an income for three years will be banished to neighboring Madagascar.
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The Presidential Box—December 2025—http://www.footprintsfilmworks.comPage 3


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--Footprints Filmworks—The Presidential Box—December 2025—FF News--
President of South Africa Omar Abdulla said that the “Eating more than Sharing” was a law just newly introduced that aimed at keeping South Africans “At Home, and At Peace.” According to the “Eating more than Sharing” law South Africans would need to live with a minimum of four people per household. Newly-wed couples, homeless people, nomads, and orphans will be taken in what is called the “The House of Cards.”
“The House of Cards” is the first of its kind ever created in South Africa and is financed by The Old Mutual Group of Companies, South African Airways, Pick and Pay and Footprints Filmworks. “The House of Cards” is a development organization that aims at creating leadership for inspiring Managing Directors, Business personnel, previously disadvantaged South African’s and people who choose to learn from the grapevine. For those persons who pose no income they can join the “The House of Cards” which is a weekly payout of R5000.00 per week to the individual seeking a job. The department that the employee works for instructs the employee the chores that he or she should adhere to.


Current Managing Director of “The House of Cards” Zakkiyyah Adamjee said that throughout South Africa the “The House of Cards” was working well with South African citizens. We have more than 50 000 people who have joined us in the last year and it’s improving day by day.
“The House of Cards” is in no competition with a similar concept of the footprints university Adamjee added. The footprints university is a free five year university to all South Africans, whilst “The House of Cards” employs those graduates who choose to enhance their skills further. Adamjee continued by saying that the R50 billion rand initiative was co-sponsored by the government through tax incentives and interest bearing accounts.



The South African community which has 10 million homes with 80 percent of them leveraged through any of the big F O U R banks has been experiencing down faults due to local council municipalities not keeping up to their deal.


The country employs more than 35 million people in sectors of financing, services, manufacturing and developing, technology synopsis, mining and agriculture, youth education and training, military programs, and many other sectors encapsulating a net growth of 25 percent on GDP per annum.

The seven hundred and eighty six sectors of the job sector of South Africa is led by Minister of Interrelationships Jacob Pheledi who has held this title since 2020. Pheledi(58) said that the Job sector of South Africa was in “Safe Hands” and that job hunting among South Africans was easy as the amount of employment agencies had increased by 12 percent since 2020.


--Footprints Filmworks Champion Cars Advert--

“To find a job that pays well is easy to find in South Africa. The problem lies with employees who choose to change their jobs every five years. This makes it difficult for the South African Interrelation community as jobs are quickly shuffled around to improve service delivery and efficiency.” Pheledi said.
The Presidential Box—December 2025—http://www.footprintsfilmworks.com

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--Footprints Filmworks—The Presidential Box—December 2025—FF News—
The Exclusive Interview held with me and President of South Africa Omar Abdulla was to be held at the Union Building’s on November 11 2025. I was told to meet him at 8:00 am at the Union Buildings National Gardens. My name is Jessica Knowles and this is my story with meeting with one of the most admired leaders of our time.



When I met with Abdulla at 8:00 am, one of his wives accompanied him for a morning jog and breakfast at the Tuscan Union Buildings. Initially, Abdulla laughed at the questions I posed to him, telling me that I should put my pen and paper away, and that I should join them on their daily morning jog. I was a bit surprised a President who led an economy of R700 trillion rand could be so funky and accommodating.
Abdulla answered a question I posed to him earlier about the South African Crime rate, stating that crime had become something of the past for South Africans. Abdulla said that the South African crime rate had dropped by more than 60 percent in the last ten years, due to the improvement of facilities for policemen and the correct method of “Household Hands”



“Household Hands” was a campaign invented by Minister of Safety and Defense Yusuf Smith that aimed at keeping criminals on guard. The “Household Hands” was an initiative that joined murderers, killers, money launderers and policemen to fight crime. According to the eight grade of criminals that prowl South African streets and prisons all grades from 3-8 were to be killed execution style or hanged. This law adapted from the Arabian community is similar to the death penalty; the only difference is that criminals are graded upon the crimes they commit. All 0-2 grade crimes and criminals were to be set free from prison and free to go home, to start fresh.



Abdulla said that the “Household Hands” law took some time for government officials to pass, but in the long run it has paid off. In 2010 every three minutes two crimes had been committed in South Africa, today we have an average of 15 crimes per day, which is a major drop from 2010.


Although, Abdulla, myself and his wife had been jogging for 30 min, we stopped for 10 min to have a glass of water, whereby he said, Jessica what I’m about to tell you might change your life.
And I said, what is it that you have to tell me that can change my life, Mr. President.
I remember he came close to me and said, I was never this close to my dreams and goals. There was a stage in my life where my family, personal friends, The South African government and even my own Ministers sabotaged and protested against me.



When I asked Abdulla what this meant he said that when he became President of South Africa in 2023, a group of angry protesters took 500 000 copies of his bestselling memoir “My father, the president” and burnt it in Soweto, Secunda, Laudium and Lenasia. This motivated me that the world and the people who occupy the space they live in, don’t keep up to their words.


The Presidential Box—December 2025—http://www.footprintsfilmworks.com
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--Footprints Filmworks—The Presidential Box—December 2025—FF News—
Abdulla added by saying that the community of South Africa does not appreciate the work that he and his 447 member Parliament does.


“Our government and people have become selfish when it comes to our country. What happened to the days where we had patriots and strong hearted men who walked our streets? When Madiba died in 2010, the country found itself anew in terms of globalization and commitment to our citizens” Abdulla said.
Although Abdulla has been President of South Africa for only two years, his greatest success was achieving the treasured goal of listing his blueprint company Footprints Filmworks on all major stock exchanges in the world. As a local tabloid paper read:




“A millionaire at 21, A billionaire at 30, A Superstar Celebrity, at 35, A President of a country, at 40”


After the morning jog, Abdulla asked to have lunch at the Union Building’s Hotel. He told me that he was going to buy a few Cuban Cigars and continue discussions on the South African community and its leaders.
At the Hotel Café at around 11: 25am a flying helicopter F-18 comes to pick us up as Mr. Abdulla has a meeting in Cape Town with the Minister of Transport and Aviation Mandy White. I was asked to join him for the day as I am busy producing a documentary on his life. His wives who are sisters were asked to join him on the trip.

--Todays Times Advert0--


I was surprised that Mr. Abdulla had two wives who lived and travelled with him.
When we arrived in the country’s Capital, Western Cape, I was greeted by Mandy White who said that all harbors, flights, tube train stations and air tubes in the country had been stalled as the power shortage from generators were too busy. According to White the country’s power generators had caused the power shortage. South Africa which is one of the highest producers of natural power was currently experiencing “Sunbeam Radiation and Radioactivity.”



“Sunbeam Radiation and Radioactivity” was a natural element in the sky that caused all power to cut off. According to the myth this technology was invented by “The Illumanti”. The “Sunbeam Radiation and Radioactivity” technology was eco-friendly and causes the earth to require Maximum Potential. What this meant is that when the Sun, Earth, Moon and Jupiter were parallel to each other, “Sunbeam Radiation and Radioactivity” takes over. According to “The illumanti” when all these elements are parallel to each other, all ozone cleansing takes place. This meant that although the country might be out of power for a day, all skin diseases and natural diseases including Cancers, HIV Positive patients, mentally instable people, and ordinary patients would be cured.

This was a legend that I read about in South African history and perhaps today was the day that I would find out what is: “Sunbeam Radiation and Radioactivity”

The Presidential Box—December 2025—http://www.footprintsfilmworks.com


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Footprints Filmworks—The Presidential Box—December 2025—FF News--

“Jessica, I need to make an urgent call” Abdulla called out.
I was a bit surprised Mr. President of South Africa wanted to make a call at this time when the city was out of power. After about half an hour, he returned and said:
“Sorry, I cannot use my mobile; I had to place a bet.”
“A bet, about what?” I asked.


“If I’m right I can double the Country’s reserve in this day.” Abdulla said.
I did not know what this meant, or what sought of code this was, but I could see that the power shortage in the country had caused him to become frail and bleak.


I am a journalist for a local newspaper, and at this time I felt like calling my boss and telling him that I was stuck with the President of South Africa for the entire day. I was so excited to get to know the Man behind the mask of the media.


--Footprints in South Africa Advert--


It was already 2: pm and still the power in the country was off, and I could see that Abdulla was nervous about something. His twin wives had gotten lost in the Minister of Transport offices Goggling reasons why and when the power could come back on. I remember, Abdulla called out my name and said:
Jessica, you wanted that interview, come and chat to me.


I had a whole list of questions prepared but it seemed that all my questions and notes meant nothing because today I could actually speak to him, and get to know what picks on the mind of the most powerful man in the world.



I told Abdulla that I did not have any notebooks to take down notes, but that I had the questions in my mind. I asked him, what motivated him to be the President of one of the Wealthiest countries in the world.
At first, he laughed and smiled and said that he was constantly challenged by his mentors and old pioneers to follow in their footprints. I remember, he came close to me and said:
“I have been around long enough to be fooled, but I always get fooled by good hearts.”
What this meant I did not understand, but I could see the honesty in his face and personality. He seemed relaxed that the entire South African community was in his hands, and all that he could do was remember the days when he schooled in Laudium.


The Presidential Box—December 2025—http://www.footprintsfilmworks.com
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Footprints Filmworks—The Presidential Box—December 2025—FF News--


“I am a community leader at heart, perhaps I was lucky with what God has blessed me, Perhaps I have been cursed, but what I do know, is that my dreams always become a reality.” Abdulla Says.
At this time an international call came in on my mobile, and a strange voice asked for Omar.
“May I speak to your superior” the strange voice asked.
I immediately handed the mobile device to Omar, who said that he would like some privacy and chat to the man in the strange voice.



Abdulla returned my mobile device and said that the power in the country will be back in 30 min, and that if he was correct the stock markets would rocket on the news about the power generators back in progress and that medical pharmaceutical company shares will drop as soon as the power comes back on.
When I asked him why the pharmaceutical company shares will drop on the news of the power, Abdulla said that “Sunbeam Radiation and Radioactivity” took place on January 25 2012 and within minutes small investors on the JSE, CAC, FTSE and FFF became overnight billionaires.


I remember on that day, I short 1 billion future contracts on Pfizer shares and I made 10 billion dollars of my own money. According to Abdulla the legend of “The Illumanti” having inside ties with when and why markets react in the way that they do.



I did not understand this mumbo jumbo share talk, so I said, Mr. President, we have 30 min more before the power comes back, can we perhaps continue with the interview as planned.
I asked Abdulla what his opinion was on the current Peace Treaty being signed between the eight nations General Assembly.



Abdulla answered my question by saying that the medical and technology investment community of the global economy were experiencing major overflow and that the medical and technology fields were the shares that increased in value the most since 2008. Abdulla added by saying that precious metals and raw materials had dropped by almost seventy percent in value since 2008. Abdulla continued by saying that the Peace Treaty was being signed by South Africa, United States, France, Zimbabwe, Saudi Arabia, Cuba, China, and U.S.S.R . Abdulla said that the treaty agreement would aim at fixing Forex currencies, Precious Metals, Blue-chip companies and repo rates pricing to squeeze inflation.



Abdulla said the investment community in countries was slowly improving as investors were starting to deepen their investment portfolio and risk appetite to outrun bank returns. According to Abdulla the local stock exchanges in the world had four times increased in value, over the five year period. He elaborated the importance of Bankers and Financiers to beware of getting stopped out off market trends.
This was friendly advice for me, as I always watch Abdulla on CNBC talking about market trends. I remember on 29 December 2024, how markets went bullish on a Monetary Policy meeting.



--The Presidential Box—December 2025—http://www.footprintsfilmworks.com
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--Footprints Filmworks—The Presidential Box—December 2025—FF News--
When we arrived on the F-18 back at the Union Buildings, Abdulla said that he would like some time with his family and that I should take a walk and views the 1105 Hectare Union Buildings. He said that he would like to use my mobile as he had to make a call to the man in the strange voice.
Abdulla(40) who has currently four children is reported to have been said that he plans to have as many children as possible. In a recent report in New York Times, he was quoted as saying that the next ten years will bring another four children to our footprints team.
“Thank you, for your time Jessica” he said.


He handed me a shoebox and said that I should send him a proof of the advert in 50 newspapers before I print it. I was a bit surprised that a President advertisers in newspapers.
Before, I left his home, I turned back and said:
Mr. President, I believe that you are a Ferrari Fan and I have heard rumors about you purchasing Ferrari Cars in the past decade or so.

--Footprints Filmworks Travel Tours Advert--


“I have always had dreams in my life Jessica. When I was 25, I had a picture of a Ferrari in my room, and perhaps I collect Ferrari’s these days, to remember my childhood dreams and passions.”
May I see your Ferrari Cars I asked him?
He said that it was a long walk to the Buildings Garage, but if she opened the shoebox, she would make the walk easier for both of them.


So, I opened the shoebox, and guess what???

A One million rand note and the keys to a new Ferrari F430 Scuderia


--The Presidential Box—December 2025—http://www.footprintsfilmworks.com

The NCAA is considering a proposal to make the college basketball season shorter. No word yet on whether that will effect the players' salaries.

My wife Jenny and I have two conditional rules in our three-year-old marriage ― once a month I am allowed to sleep with a hooker and when she is away for extended periods of time, I am allowed to sleep with our neighbours’ 18-year-old daughter Nancy Smith. Now the only conditions about these two rules are that my wife is never allowed to find out about either the hookers or randy Nancy.

Being a writer, I spend most of my day at home while my wife works at some bank (who’s name I am not allowed to mention) as a consultant. I spend at most about five months a year really writing; the other months are spent promoting whatever I have written and mowing the lawn or something. Depending on my mood and emotional health, some months or years I simply just take off. This means that most often I have a lot of time to kill by practising my hobbies such as growing peaches in our backyard or bedding Mr and Ms Smiths’ youngest daughter.

Nancy’s visits used to be a once-a-week thing due to her possessive boyfriend and her busy schedule as a first-year medical student, but the weekly visits were fine with me since I was only fucking her for the experience of her tight vagina and her fetish to be tied up. Months later when my wife caught us in bed together for the first time, Nancy was getting fucked like a dog with her head forced into the pillow and her hands tied behind her back ― a scene my wife labeled as “barbaric” and “distastefully brutal”.

After about a month of screwing around, Nancy dumped her possessive boyfriend which meant that we were able to play on a daily basis. Each morning after my wife left for work, Nancy would attend her first class of the day which usually involved biting and bondage. The sweet “ding dong” sound of the front doorbell ringing while I laid in bed reading the paper went as well with my coffee as blasphemy. My first-touch with sunlight for the day would usually be when I open the door for Nancy. Her routine ― yet irritating and redundant ― question of “Is the lovely wife gone?” would usually be the only words out of her mouth not dictated through screams. I usually respond by saying: “I am going to fuck you so hard you are going to split in half.” Nancy’s daily visits opened up the windows to both experimentation and wariness. When my wife caught us for the second time together I was once again entering Nancy from a rear position. This time the words “In here” were written on Nancy’s lower back with a black marker and an arrow was pointing towards her anus ― unlike the previous time, my wife refrained from making a comment.

My affair with Nancy became the oyster garden for my inspiration as a writer, but not for my life. Even though a lot of work was being done behind the typewriter and behind the 18-year-old sexual prodigy, I kind of became bored with life. Screwing Nancy behind my wife’s back was exciting to a certain extend, but I had a bigger lust for wickedness. At the tender age of 27 I have achieved tremendous success by means of simply minimising my workload and maximising my self-confidence and persistency. But despite all of that, I have simply run out of ways to enjoy the simple things in life. It started to feel that every day I lived and every single thing I did was just another forgettable moment that has passed. The more I searched for excitement the more erratic my behaviour became, especially my new-found habit of touching myself while in conversation.

My sudden change in behaviour and my refusal to go for therapy did raise some questions among my loved ones, especially my beloved wife (who won’t learn about my and Nancy’s affair for another three months). Jenny was starting to feel guilty and she admitted that due to her long hours at the office, she was neglecting me. I wasn’t that bothered by Jenny’s “negligence” because I was too busy fucking Nancy and maintaining my mini orchard to even notice that there was a distance growing between me and my wife. I was however very amused by the irony of the entire situation since I was convinced that my wife was having an affair with a co-worker, Michelle Olwagen. My suspicions of my wife having an extramarital relationship with a female co-worker didn’t bother me even the slightest bit; for starters, I was busy fucking a barely legal teenager on a daily basis and secondly, it’s not like some other guy was putting his fat cock inside my wife.  And even though I have never met or seen Michelle Olwagen before in my life, I knew someone very well who knew her very well.

It was a Thursday evening and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky when I drove through the city on my way back from a meeting with my publisher. I was waiting for the green light at a robot when my eye caught two superfine women standing on the street corner; the one was smoking a cigarette and the other one was exchanging words with a distinctive gentleman who looked like a policeman. Judging by the way the women were dressed and the quality of the area, the thought that they were hookers didn’t even pass through my mind ― I would rather have mistaken them for two power-dressed lawyers than streetlovers. But when they approached my car with a charismatic “Hey there, you” I knew that they are the type of women who only accepts cash.

Now I have never really gone as far as my brother to actually sleep with one of the princesses of twilight, but it has always been somewhat of a hidden desire and definitely in the top spot of my to-do list. If this part of my life had a chapter, I would have called it: “Meeting the other end of the rope”.

Prostitutes have always been similar to a good movie to me. If a lot of different people pay money to go see a movie, it is most certainly a box-office hit. The same goes for a prostitute. If many different guys, who could rather fuck their wife or girlfriend, would go so far as to pay a woman to fuck her, then her box must surely be a hit.

The two prostitutes that approached my car must have been somewhat of an upper class or new to the business, because they were too well groomed for a hooker ― especially the way the one’s pubic hair was trimmed into the shape of a half-moon. The same night I saw the one prostitute’s moon-shaped pubes, I learned that she does prostitution as a part-time job and to “watch people act frail”. I found this absolutely intriguing.

That first night I met my two new friends ― Moonflower and Gothgirl69 ― I bought them both. They were so cheap, it was literally a buy one get one free special. I took them to a Holiday Inn near my house because it would raise the minimum amount of suspicion and most importantly, it was convenient for me. Since I am the type of guy who has enough confidence in his sexual performance, I don’t do threesomes or orgies. So when we approached the elevator, I told Moonflower to kindly wait in the bar area while I take her friend, Gothgirl69 (which turned out to be a competitor), to the hotel room so we could get things up to business. After I did both of them and paid for their drinks while they waited their turn, I gave them their money and assured them that we would hook up again ― I did, however, only continue seeing Moonflower.

From there on it became a regular thing. The sex I had with the prostitute, Moonflower, was passionate and gentle and the sex I had with Nancy was violent. My wife, who still haven’t found out about my affairs, kept on working long hours and I was still convinced that she was sleeping with that Michelle girl. Now and then my wife would query on the bite marks and bruises on my body. Once when I contracted a mysterious rash on my dick (most likely from Nancy, but it turned out to be Moonflower), I narrowly escaped being caught out before telling my wife that I got the rash from her and that she might be suffering from some fungus on her virginal area (luckily for me, Jenny just happened to have a fungus on her left lip which she contracted from Michelle).

It was close encounters like these that made me master the art of lying to Jenny, usually about the origin of my injuries.  Sometimes I even confused Jenny into believing that she gave them to me during some sexual brawl.

“Those are your handy work my love,” I would often say to her before accepting her apology which was usually followed by a missionary-style fuck. It is when the sex life you share with your wife is degraded to plain old missionary style that you know that the spark is gone. But in the rare times that I did however made passionate love to my wife, it was usually with anger ― not the angry sex that I had with Nancy, but the type of angry sex that says, “What the fuck have we done to each other?” Sometimes Jenny wanted our lovemaking to be soft and gentle; I preferred thrusting her like I was paying to do so.

The morning my wife caught me with Nancy for the second time, I thought that it was over for sure. It was only after an embarrassed Nancy left and my wife and I sat down at the kitchen table that she confessed to having an affair.  My wife told me that she was suffering from depression and that the affair was with a female colleague; she further told me that her lover had decided to end their eight-month affair after meeting a man. As I held my wife I felt her tears running down my chest ― which still carried the aroma of Nancy’s pussy― and at that moment I told her that I only slept with Nancy three times and that she caught us two out of the three times. But whether my wife believed me or not about the “three times” I had been with Nancy, it was the truth when I told her that I would never see Nancy again. After four months with Nancy, we have literally exhausted our imaginations and our sexual abilities ― there was simply nothing more humanly possible that we could do in the bedroom.

After my wife confessed to her affair with Michelle Olwagen, we didn’t separate. It had absolutely no affect on our relationship as most people would imagine. We did however start to have somewhat of a steamier sex life ― Jenny even allowed me to butt-fuck her ― and she also started seeing a therapist to help her deal with her depression. Jenny and I agreed to work harder at our marriage, but I wasn’t able to let Moonflower go. With Nancy out of my life and my wife under the impression that the holes in our marriage were all patched up, I was able to continue my affair with the prostitute.  One evening when my wife was out with friends, I invited moonflower over to our house for the first time.  She told me that due to the feelings she started to have for me after months of sleeping together, it was no longer necessary for me to pay her. She sex that followed was the worst sex I ever had with Moonflower; I guess since money was no longer involved it just wasn’t the same. That night was the final straw in my marriage. When my wife caught me for the third time with another woman, she did have a comment.

“So this is the jerk you have left me for, Michelle?”

10. You see your cousin walking in drunk and drugged out of his mind with a stunning new woman on his arm. He mentions casually she works as a hooker. Your response, “Man, it must suck to have a chick that cheats on you every time she goes to work.”

9. Your cousin and her husband, the newlyweds of the family, are hosting the holiday. Your cousin’s husband mentions that they served the food the night before to their friends and are saving money by doing this. Your thought is, “Your friends are rich snobs. At least they washed their hands.”

8. You and your cousin are watching football when the fat ass mentions he is known as Mr. Triple Team by his prep school football squad. He says it’s because he can tackle three guys at once. Meanwhile you know every time he farts three guys fall down.

7. Your cousins are in from the trailer park and the oldest son of this family has just been released from the psych ward. Apparently he is supporting his illegitimate child by working as a lab test subject. His father also adds this is the best job his son has ever had.

6. During dinner your slut aunt who is cheating on your uncle steps out to call her boyfriend. Your uncle is drunk and depressed and passes out. Their children are crawling under the table biting people’s ankles and getting kicked. Your slut aunt is quick to say, “Careful, they might have diseases. I should know.”

5. At dinner your aunt who cannot deal with the fact her son is gay mentions he got abducted by aliens yet again. She has him show the supposed probes in the back of his head and mentions that she saw the UFOs last night and they are coming back for her son. To protect her she mentions she has her Ouija Board where she plans to channel the spirit of J. Edgar Hoover.

4. During the phase of the meal where people name things they are thankful for your grandfather says, “That I’m so old that if I killed your grandmother they couldn’t send me to prison for too long because I will be dead soon.” And then he passes out.

3. As a family craft you are making turkey’s by tracing your hand. However, your cousin who has been struck by lightning (and survived) three times cannot partake. It’s because he is having a bad reaction to the electrical socket not so far away.

2. You open the bathroom door to pee and turn on the lights. Lo and behold your grandmother is using the bath tub to mix the stuffing.

1. Thanksgiving makes you remember when times are tough you have family. But when you have family, that’s when you need egg nog with plenty of Southern Comfort.

10. You are sitting around when a girl you know is a real bitch comes up to you and says, “You look really put together. Like you aren’t on drugs today.” Your response, “Well, that’s normally the way I tolerate you. Too bad I don’t have that buffer today. Damn those twelve steps.”

9. You have been ranting and raving on the phone about a sucky day you are having when this woman, who is publically breast feeding and has her tits hanging out for all to see, tells you to be quiet because this language will corrupt her child. That’s when you hand the homeless crackhead ten bucks and tell him to grab her tits. That will put her in her place.

8. A rich snob that lives in your neighborhood is putting you and your buddies down again for hanging out on the stoop and laughing loudly. Tell the junkie ex-con who you know has committed a string of robberies in the neighborhood she has twenty bucks on her…..

7. Your roommate has a lady friend you can’t stand that is always making backhanded comments about how you dress when she is a bleach blonde with a bad die job. Casually mention your cousin is getting out of prison after twenty years because he strangled his girlfriend with her bra, stuffed her panties in her mouth, and dumped her body by the train tracks. Then tell he wants to come visit next week to see how much you have grown, and likes platinum blondes.

6. You know this girl who is always doing things for attention. Lately she is claiming a Jamaican guy sexually assaulted her just to see a guy infatuated with her beat someone up. Look at her pretending to be concerned and mention, “I know plenty of Jamaicans. And they never assault anyone with a flat chest. At least not as far as I know.”

5. You are at a gathering when a girl who is dressed like a treasure troll in drag continually makes jokes about you being a slut. Turn to her, smile, and say, “Why? Jealous I get some and you don’t. Im sure if you looked under the draw bridge your Froto would be there for you.”

4. A crazy girl who has been sending you nasty notes on myspace and making your life hell blogs about how she is a responsible mother and how people don’t understand how hard it is. Meanwhile the slut had the four kids to three guys at sixteen. You should comment on the blog, “Wow, must be hard work being a breeding lump. I mean , you lay down on your back a lot but still, gold star for a job shamelessly done.”

3. You recently got a promotion at your job and this girl who is clearly jealous of you is bad mouthing you saying she can’t believe you got it and she didn’t. That’s when you say, “You can’t believe it. Oh ye of little faith.”

2. You see a girl you went to high school with that is a total princess in every respect of the word. When she sees you after years of having not had contact, acts as if she is disgusted by your appearance. That’s when, as you calmly sip your coffee say, “By the way, I contracted Hep C not long ago. Want a sip?”

1. If any of these responses illicit a challenge for a cat fight by any of these party’s tell them you would fight except it is against your policy to assault the mentally handicapped. And then summon the nearest officer of the law when they are yelling and screaming and say you believe they wandered out of a group home and could he help them find their way back. And walk off into the sunset.