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One week after a severe headache forced Rudy Giuliani to spend a night in the hospital, his doctor declared the Republican presidential candidate to be "in very good health." The doctor added, "He is in perfect shape to lose an election."
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The Iowa caucuses are a day away and the hardest part for the people of Iowa is deciding which candidate has the best accessories. A vote for Hillary and you get the “gift with purchase” of Bill. A vote for Barack Obama and you get the returned gift of Oprah. A vote for Rudy Giuliani, you will get the first Republican sex scandal. A vote for Mike Huckabee, you will get God as long as the collection plate is full. Finally, a vote for Dennis Kucinich, and you just get crazy. Happy caucusing.
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 Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani was released from a St. Louis hospital Thursday after spending the night to undergo tests for flu-like symptoms.
Giuliani returned home today but there are reports his campaign is still bed-ridden.
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When Topps baseball cards hit the stores this week, about one in every 70 packs will include a picture of Rudy Giuliani, fist raised in victory, celebrating with the Red Sox on the field after their World Series win. Provided, of course, that Topps can sell 70 packs.
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In a stunning announcement yesterday, the editorial board of the NY Times has formally endorsed Presidential candidate John McCain and not Rudi Giuliani. The board was quoted in saying, "The real Mr. Giuliani, whom many New Yorkers came to know and mistrust, is a narrow, obsessively secretive, vindictive man who saw no need to limit police power."
When asked to respond to these comments, Mr. Giuliani stated, "Yea, well, I am rubber and you are glue and anything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you."
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DETROIT - Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is under fire amid allegations he had an affair with his chief of staff.
"I don't see what the big deal is," said San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom. "Can't you cut the guy a break?" added former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani.
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John McCain won the Florida primary yesterday with the help of key endorsements from Governor Charlie Crist and Senator Mel Martinez.
Rudy Giuliani finished third despite endorsements from Mickey Mouse and Goofy.
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MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. - About a dozen senior campaign staffers for Rudy Giuliani are forgoing their January paychecks.
Rudy tests his new tax cut plan. No wages--no taxes to pay.
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