During a news conference yesterday in Iraq, President Bush ducked two shoes that were thrown at him by an Arabic television correspondent.  An Iraqi authority was asked if the man would be punished.  "Of course, he will punished," the Iraqi authority said,  "he missed."

I have looked into the future.The bad news is: Sarah Palin is elected President on November 6,2012.The good news is:On December 21,2012,the world comes to an end.

Today Dick Cheney suggested moving the Gitmo detainees to the Moon.  The detainees would have no chance for escape and  they can now be waterboarded.

On the heels of Sarah Palin's new book,Going Rogue,John McCain has penned one also.It is called Going Rogaine.

Sarah Palin was upset by a Newsweek cover that showed her wearing a skimpy outfit.  John McCain was also upset--that Palin didn't wear that outfit on the campaign trail.

   Not long ago, Joe Biden told this guy in a wheelchair to stand up and take a bow.

   Understandably, Biden withstood a torrent of jeers and criticism for the obvious gaff.

   Some rock-ribbed Republicans went so far as to characterize Mr. Biden's behavior as "sheer cruelty."

   A few diehard Democrats posited that the Vice President--being a believing Christian--may simply have been trying to heal the man.

   Both these groups were kidding--I think.

The doctor slapped the baby and then he slapped Cheney to restart his heart.

"I'm sorry for taking so long to return the books,  but I'm a really slow reader," said a remorseful George Bush.  

In lieu of a traditional baptism, the child will be waterboarded. 

Oprah just interviewed Sarah Pailin.  Winfrey could have gotten less convoluted answers from my intestines during a game of Twister.

I am glad to see Newsweek using sex to promote the magazine(Sarah Palin cover).  The awful covers of the past were the most unattractive containing the ugliest people.  Now, I hope your highly trained publishing staff takes it to a new level.  Let’s have fold outs of Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Molly Ivin ( oops sorry, past away),  and of course Michelle!.  These could be done tastefully…like that Burt Reynolds fold out years ago.  In order to be politically correct, how about Senators Bird, Reed, and maybe even commentators such as Keith Olbermann.  He is always looking for ways to promote himself-look at Sunday Night Football (talk about odd ball-it's like having Bozo in a discussion with scientists on Global Warming). I would add Limbaugh and some others, but they are not good looking enough for your high quality publication.  I suggest sticking to Liberals, The Beautiful People! Why, maybe your editors could win the Nobel Peace prize for Literature using sex.  After all, sex is true peace!   Gene Stray