Anybody who watches baseball knows that the Pittsburgh Pirates trade away all of their good players every year.  Ok, having said that, here's the joke.  

    Did you hear the news?  The Pirates traded away their mascot for a couple of minor league mascots!

In a shameless move,the Pittsburgh Pirates traded their whole team to Orlando.They will be called the Orlando Pirates Of The Carribean. 

Pittsburgh rookie Andrew McCutchen hit three homeruns in a recent game. If the Pirates knew how good he really was, they'd have already traded him.

The Pirates are interested in trading All-Star second baseman Freddy Sanchez to the Giants for left-handed starter Jonathan Sanchez. The trade is particularly appealing to Pittsburgh since they can save money by not printing new jerseys.

The Washington Nationals made four errors in a loss to the Pittsburgh Pirates. Five if you count showing up for the game. While four errors is pretty awful, it's nothing compared to the 14,549 people who committed the error of buying tickets.

The Pirates have already begun their annual fire sale by trading all-star outfielder Nate McClouth. Anyone interested in a starting pitcher, shortstop, or coffee machine is encouraged to inquire within.

Pittsburgh catcher Ryan Doumit is expected to miss two months after breaking his wrist. Unfortunately, he'll have to spend it watching Pirates games.

The Pittsburgh Pirates are hoping to bring back manager John Russell. Russell is excellent at nurturing young talent and dealing with crippling depression.

...Barry Bonds, still insisting that he hasnt retired, says he would like to end his career where it began, playing for the Pirates.... if not in Pittsburgh, then Somalia. 

After a 17-2 loss to the Cubs Aug. 14th, the Pittsburgh Pirates managed to hold a séance after the game in honor of the late great writer Kurt Vonnegut. Vonnegut, who often wrote of time traveling in his novels, was summoned so the Pittsburgh team could return to the glory days of their baseball greatness, circa 1970s style.