Because of this God-awful heatwave there have been power outages all around New York City. Thankfully my neighborhood has power. Nothing I hate more than not having power. No TV, no air conditioning.

You wake up in the middle of the night and have to stumble to the bathroom in the dark. Then you're peeing and you realize, "This don't sound right." Turns out you're tinkling in the laundry basket. It's a nightmare.

 New York City will celebrate the Yankees' 27th World Series title with a celebration parade today.  Parade confetti will consist of ticker tape, newspaper, and shredded Mets' season tickets.  

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is so rich . He is worth over $17 Billion Dollars and can afford anything . Today he bought the Election ( again) .  

A teenage girl suffering from amnesia and found in New York City has been identified by relatives. "I won't be relieved until they get here and tell me who I am, what happened to me, and absolutely confirm that I'm not Lindsay Lohan."

New Jersey governor Corzine has lost in his re-election bid, despite spending millions.  Just goes to show;  in our great nation, money can't buy elections!!  (NOTE:  This does not apply to the New York City mayoral election.)

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the 9/11 mastermind and chest sweater, will be sent to a federal prison in nyc where he'll await trial for his involvement in the tragedy of 9/11. Khalid is to be the first person in the last decade to come to nyc and not live in Brooklyn.

Thousands of bees swarmed outside a New York City game store, trapping employees inside for hours. Worried employees looked out the window of the store while talking on the phone as the bees clustered Saturday afternoon. Eventually, a police bee specialist arrived and used a scent of a queen bee to collect the rest of the swarm. The officer observed most of the workers doing nothing about the situation, but they did have a tight grip on their joysticks.

Rapper Lil Wayne pleaded guilty in Manhattan court today to a gun charge.

Last year, following a performance at the Beacon Theater in NYC, cops raided Lil Wayne’s tour bus on the suspicion that he was in the possession of marijuana. But what they found was a bit more serious than a little weed.

When the NYPD approached the bus, Lil Wayne allegedly tossed a Louis Vuitton bag with a gun inside, which got him charged with attempted weapon possession.

Authorities reportedly tied the gun to Lil Wayne using “a debated, highly sensitive DNA profiling technique”:

He’s black… He’s a rapper… He’s guilty! 

It was pretty creepy and crawly – even for New York’s Bravest.  Firefighters in the New York City borough of Queens found snakes and creepy critters galore when they responded to a small basement fire.  Lieutenant Ed Ireland says it was like something out of a science fiction movie.  After the smoke cleared, Ireland says he saw a ten-foot python slithering near his feet.  There were also two cobras, tarantulas, two small alligators, and other creatures.  The animals’ owner was cited for health code violations.  ***MARLAR: Samuel Jackson has already signed on for the movie.

A cat who rode two miles through New York City while stuck in the engine compartment of an SUV has lived to meow about it. Wilfred Rodriguez heard rattling while he was driving Monday in the Bronx. After he parked, he spotted a bushy tail and a paw sticking out of the SUV's front end. He was relieved when the paw moved. Detectives with the New York Police Department's Emergency Service Unit freed the grease-covered kitty by removing the SUV's battery and other vehicle parts. Richard Gentles of New York City Animal Care & Control says the tan-and-white stray appears to be in good physical shape.  ***MARLAR: He now boasts his SUV gets nine lives a gallon.

An athiest group is launching a big advertising campaign in the NYC subways. 

Their motto: "Nothing" damn these dirty, late trains!"