Bernie Madoff’s stuff is being auctioned off, including his Mets jacket which says “Madoff” on the back.  May not be safe to walk the streets of New York in that thing; after all, it does say Mets on it!

Majority Leader Harry Reid is considering a plan for higher payroll taxes on upper-income earners to help finance health care legislation.   So apparently, health care willl be paid for by the New York Yankees. 

On Thursday, November 12, the New York Daily News reported that City University of New York (CUNY) has a math problem.  Reports show that during their first math class at one of CUNY’s four-year colleges, 90% of 200 students tested couldn’t solve a simple algebra problem and only a third could convert a fraction into a decimal.

How embarrassing to have a 90% failure rate!  That’s like almost 8 out of every 5 people!

 

Allen Iverson has placed phone calls with the Knicks and the Bobcats. Up next, the Suicide Hotline.

A New York judge ordered a clown to change out of his colorful costume during his trial.  Judges hate when people dress weird in court; goofy white curly wigs, big black robes-stuff like that. 

The Knicks have decided to pass on signing Allen Iverson. Odd, since Iverson hasn't passed in years.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the 9/11 mastermind and chest sweater, will be sent to a federal prison in nyc where he'll await trial for his involvement in the tragedy of 9/11. Khalid is to be the first person in the last decade to come to nyc and not live in Brooklyn.

Thousands of bees swarmed outside a New York City game store, trapping employees inside for hours. Worried employees looked out the window of the store while talking on the phone as the bees clustered Saturday afternoon. Eventually, a police bee specialist arrived and used a scent of a queen bee to collect the rest of the swarm. The officer observed most of the workers doing nothing about the situation, but they did have a tight grip on their joysticks.

The New York Yankees won the World Series after a 8-year World Series drought, despite having the biggest payroll of any MLB team.

To improve on their already heavy hitting roster (hadn't the Yankee's won), owner George Steinbrenner (accurately portrayed in tv's Seinfeld as a greedy, insane person), was ready to buy the high-scoring 1954 National League All-Star Team.

A Democratic senator from Arkansas is not sure if she'll vote for the health care bill because she wants to make sure that it's good for the people in her state.  I say, "Vote for the bill.  We'll fly all 7 people in your state to our New York doctors whenever they're sick!."