Michael Jackson celebrated his 50th birthday Friday.

In related news, his nose turns 25.

Kanye West is gonna show up to patrick swayze's funeral, take the microphone, and say " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute. but michael jackson had the best death of the year."

The long awaited Michael Jackson film " This Is It " opened yesterday and immediately earned over 2 million dollars . The four remaining Jackson brothers  Jermaine, Marlon, Tito, and Jackie attended the premiere . CNN's Larry King called in to inquire about how the show was doing . Jermaine told King, " It's doing great Larry you should be here, Why aren't you here ? "  Larry replied, " I would but I'm doing my show. You know, I gotta work ."  A puzzled Jermaine thought for a minute then asked his brothers Tito, Marlon, and Jackie  " What does that word "Work" mean anyway ? "   One of the Jackson Brothers mumbled, " I'm sure I don't know but it was good Michael passed when he did because i was flat broke until now . " 

I'm glad they found BALLOON BOY when they did...for a moment,I thought Michael Jackson was ordering "take-out"!!!

 Michael Jackson's Rabbi was on Dateline last Friday. He secretly recorded conversations with Michael and now released a book. He said Michael knew about the recordings... If everything was Kosher why can't he explain the missing 18 1/2 minutes on the third tape?

Michael Jackson's "This Is It" documentary will premiere in 25 cities on Tuesday, Oct. 27. It will close on Oct. 28.

Joe Jackson, father of the late Michael Jackson, shared some harsh opinions regarding Kanye West’s hijacking of Taylor Swift’s moment and insists he be blackballed out of show business for that.

He could start by signing Kanye to his new record label, Ranch Records, just as soon as possible.

Michael Jackson's former personal physician and suspected murderer, Dr Conrad Murray is really in hot water now . The Las Vegas District Attorney says he missed a hearing to explain why he has not paid $13,000 in back child support . " Move over O.J., we got a new playmate for you ! "

Texas police responding to a store’s burglar alarm found a less than hardened criminal inside: He was 4, and playing with the toys. Detective Randy Stevens says the child apparently unlocked a door at his nearby home and crossed a street to reach the discount store. When the boy was asked how he got inside, he informed officers that a strange man invited him inside to play. The store is owned by the one time king of pop Michael Jackson.

A clump of Elvis Presley's hair sold for $15,000 at a Chicago auction. But that's nothing. In 2002, a clump of the singer's hair went for almost $115,000! Remember when Britney Spears went crazy and took an umbrella to hit an empty car?  Well, the umbrella  went up on Ebay -- starting at $25,000. Although the auction site took the item down, bids exceeded the starting price (and may have been bought offline.) John Lennon's Steinway piano, which he composed 'Imagine,' went for $2 million. The buyer? Singer George Michael. During a 1999 auction, Marilyn Monroe's infamous "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" dress went for $1,267,500. One of Michael Jackson's jewel-encrusted gloves sold for $49,000 in an Australian auction. Judy Garlands ruby slippers from 'The Wizard of Oz' sold to a private collector in 2000 for $666,000.  ***MARLAR: I’m also happy to announce that later today you’ll be able to bid on my old 3XL shirts (I’ve moved up to 4XL).  Bidding is expected to go nowhere.