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Martha Stewart
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Martha Stewart Jokes

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Hot Topic Martha Stewart 6 Jokes
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Videos of Interest
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Stewart vs Cramer Daily Show Open & Cramer on Martha Stewart

By: Videos of Interest (C)
Submitted: Mar 13, 2009
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Martha Stewart

6 Jokes

Jim Cramer vs Jon Stewart Daily Show Open.  Jim Cramer get's ready for the showdown with some advice from Martha Stewart. Jon Stewart going through stock trading boot camp. Let's Rumble!


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Fiona Walsh
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America is great!

By: Fiona Walsh (C)
Submitted: Oct 6, 2006
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

New York City

426 Jokes  47 Videos

Cos even if you're a convicted felon you can still get your own TV show. Like Martha Stewart. I'm all about second chances but start slowly. Martha should've been forced to sell lemonade on the street corner for a few years and then work up to knitting pot warmers for friends on Manhattan Cable.


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kimmy williams
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Vila Virgin

By: kimmy williams (C)
Submitted: Sep 15, 2006
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Madonna

124 Jokes

Madonna appeared in concert last Tuesday in Moscow Russia.  During her global 'Confessions' tour there,  Madonna is seen hung from this home improvement style cross personifying The Glory of  ‘Pier I Bamboo’  and  ‘Ceramic Tiles 'R  Us.’  "I confess," she sang, "Bob Vila made me do it!"  Martha Stewart was seen kneeling at her feet striking her chest and lamenting, "Forgive them Father, they know not WHAT tacky building materials they utilize for the crucifix!"


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Steve Etzkorn
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Bam! Kick It Up a Notch!

By: Steve Etzkorn (M)
Submitted: Jun 11, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Martha Stewart

6 Jokes

I heard Martha Stewart was a special guest on Rachel Ray's Food Network show. They became instant friends while cooking over the stove. It's rumored they were getting along so well that the two of them were caught making out on the set during commercial breaks. Now that's what I call some hot "Grill on Grill" action! I guess Martha got a taste of Rachel's "30 Minute Meal"...


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Terry Tyller
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Martha Stewart

By: Terry Tyller (M)
Submitted: Sep 1, 2009
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Martha Stewart

6 Jokes

Patrick Albanese, a hand model, magician and actor, blames a Martha Stewart-branded lounge chair for snipping off a bit of his livelihood. In a lawsuit filed Monday, Albanaese said he was moving the Martha Stewart Everyday lounge chair in June when the front tubular legs collapsed, crushing his right index finger between one of the chair legs and tubular bar on the base of the chair. In a related story, John Tucker of California has filed a lawsuit against Martha Stewart as well. He claims that when he purchased a similar chair the sales person assured him that a coded message came with the assembly instructions, which outline a step-by-step plan on how to profit from insider trading.


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Con Chapman
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Monster SUVs

By: Con Chapman (C)
Submitted: Oct 24, 2006
Category: Blogs  
From Hot Topic

The View

202 Jokes  1 Videos

SUBURBAN MOMS CLIMB MONSTER TRUCK RANKS WITH SUV SKILLS

STAFFORD SPRINGS, Connecticut. Tori Carrington is a mother of three with a black labrador retriever named "Boots" and a pick-up and drop-off schedule that reads like a cab dispatcher's log. "I've got so much stuff to haul around town, there's no way I could handle it with a car," she says as she slams the rear door of her Chevy Suburban on six bags of groceries and her daughter Amanda's finger.

The same is true for Mindy Michaels, who lives next door. "We bought the Expedition because we needed the space for all our kids' junk," she says as she wrangles her son Jason's mountain bike and her daughter Ellie's vaulting poles and javelins into the super-sized Ford SUV.

Tori and Mindy are both ranked in the top ten of the Monster Jam Points Series as the season winds down with an event at Stafford Motor Speedway in this leafy Connecticut suburb, the American Express Super Modified Monster Mayhem Weekend. As monster truck racing has previously been an all-male preserve, the two stand our for reasons more obvious than their Ann Taylor sweaters and pearl necklaces.



"We see soccer moms as the next big wave in professional Monster Truck racing," says Amex's James Saltonstall, III. "Sort of like Michelle Wie and Annika Sorenstam on the PGA Tour. It's a very affluent target audience with tremendous upside potential because right now they're all watching Martha Stewart and Meredith Viera on The View."



That sentiment isn't necessarily shared by Monster Truck veterans such as Duane "Bug Juice Johnson of Warrensburg, Missouri. "I don't have anything against women drivers in general, but those two are kind of aggressive on a Chicago-style track," he says. "Also, their back porches are a little skimpy for my tastes."



But Tori and Mindy say they won't let hidebound prejudice stand in their way as they line up for the qualifying heat of the Super-Modified division in which they compete. "I work out four days a week with a personal trainer so I can fit into size 6 capri pants," she says with uncharacteristic firmness. "I'm not going to take fashion tips from some Midwestern hilljack who doesn't have an MBA."



As the women maneuver their SUV's into position they can look down the starting line at snarling 800 horsepower behemoths with names like "Grave Digger", "The Avenger" and "Wild Thang" painted on their sides. Tori thought about adopting une nomme du monster chariot, but decided against it. "My parents always taught me not to call undue attention to myself," and indeed her Suburban is a muted forest green in contrast to the bright reds, oranges and yellows of some of her male competitors.

Mom and Dad.

The announcer counts down from "Drivers Ready", to "Get Set", and then screams "Go!" over the public address system, sending the vehicles scrambling around the short track with dirt-mound jumps. Tori and Mindi are inveterate cell phone uses--"It's attached to my ear!" Mindi admits--and Tori calls her friend as soon as they take their places in the pack.



"Hi there," says Tori. "Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"No," Mindi replies. "I'm going over a jump in a minute so I may lose coverage."

Mindi scales the dirt mound and her Expedition goes flying, landing on the bed of Bug Juice Johnson's "Eradicator".



"Nice air, Mindi!" Tori says with admiration.

"Thanks. I've been working on my technique in the Lord & Taylor parking lot."

"How ca


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