A veteran Milwaukee, Wisconsin firefighter was charged with drugging his wife’s tea with his anti-depressant medication because he said he wanted to calm her after an argument.

The 43-year-old man was in the Milwaukee County jail Tuesday on $10,000 bail and was unavailable for comment… but his wife still hasn’t shut up. 

   A reformed polygamist has this to say to other men regarding his former lifestyle:  "If you enjoy living in fear, under intense financial pressure; tolerating constant bickering; accumulating mothers-in-law and using Viagra like breath mints, you'll love polygamy!

   My wife, Margaret, was 8 1/2 months pregnant when our teenage son, Frankie, asked her a difficult moral question.

   Struggling to find the right words, Marge stammered, "You can't...you shouldn't.  I mean, it would be best if you didn't..."

   "Dad!" interrupted Frankie; addressing me, in the next room.  "Mom's having contractions!"  

In the latest issue of British GQ, actress Nicole Kidman reveals that she’s done some “strange sexual stuff”… like marrying Tom Cruise. 

Kate Gosselin and her children are ready to move on with their lives. They will appear in the new tv series V,in an episode called V8 + Kate. 

Hundreds of senior citizens outside Chicago got an unexpected Halloween treat Saturday -- a free party sponsored by a jilted bride. Six days before Teanne Harris was to walk down the aisle, her fiancé called off the wedding. And when Harris and her mother went to the catering hall to cancel the reception, they were told their deposit was nonrefundable. That's when Harris noticed the Asbury Court Retirement Community across the street. So instead of letting a Halloween-themed wedding reception go to waste, Harris, 34, decided to move the party to the retirement home. It was a great time for all involved.  ***MARLAR: Plus she found a lot of eligible bachelors.

A man on house arrest asked police to put in him jail rather than serve the remainder of his sentence at home with his wife.  30 year old builder Santino Gambio,, was serving a sentence for dumping hazardous waste at his house in Villabate, Sicily, just outside the capital. But after being home with his wife, he went to the police station and asked to be jailed to avoid having more arguments.  ***MARLAR: Her biggest complaint was that he never took her out anymore.

No men allowed.  That is the rule on the entire 19^th floor of a new J.W. Marriott hotel in Grand Rapids, Michigan.  A lounge at the hotel is also be reserved for women only.  Spokeswoman Andrea Groom says more than half of all business travelers are women.  She tells The Grand Rapids Press they want to be able to relax over a drink without getting hit-on by men.  The women-only rooms have distaff-specific amenities like special hair dryers, bath products, jewelry holders and chenille throws.  But the businesswomen will have to pay for the privilege.  Rooms on the women-only floor are about thirty dollars more than the usual rate.  ***MARLAR: They were going to have a “Men Only” floor as well, but it’s too expensive to equip every bathroom with a La-Z-Boy, big screen TV, and a fridge.

In November Nicolas Rapp says he will be quitting my job and heading out on one of the last true adventures left on earth: Driving around the world. He'll  spend about a year on the road, starting and finishing in New York. When he can't drive, he'll ship the car by boat, then fly to the next stop to pick it up. The route will be a tough one. He'll cross Central America, then head down South America to Buenos Aires. From there, he'll ship the car to South Africa, then drive north through Africa to Europe. He'll stop in Paris to get some paperwork done, then go east through Eastern Europe, Turkey, Iran, Pakistan, and India. He'll ship the car to Thailand, drive to Laos, Cambodia, Malaysia and Indonesia, and put the car on a final sailing home to the U.S.  ***MARLAR: Some husbands will do anything to get some quiet time away from their wives.

10. You see your cousin walking in drunk and drugged out of his mind with a stunning new woman on his arm. He mentions casually she works as a hooker. Your response, “Man, it must suck to have a chick that cheats on you every time she goes to work.”

9. Your cousin and her husband, the newlyweds of the family, are hosting the holiday. Your cousin’s husband mentions that they served the food the night before to their friends and are saving money by doing this. Your thought is, “Your friends are rich snobs. At least they washed their hands.”

8. You and your cousin are watching football when the fat ass mentions he is known as Mr. Triple Team by his prep school football squad. He says it’s because he can tackle three guys at once. Meanwhile you know every time he farts three guys fall down.

7. Your cousins are in from the trailer park and the oldest son of this family has just been released from the psych ward. Apparently he is supporting his illegitimate child by working as a lab test subject. His father also adds this is the best job his son has ever had.

6. During dinner your slut aunt who is cheating on your uncle steps out to call her boyfriend. Your uncle is drunk and depressed and passes out. Their children are crawling under the table biting people’s ankles and getting kicked. Your slut aunt is quick to say, “Careful, they might have diseases. I should know.”

5. At dinner your aunt who cannot deal with the fact her son is gay mentions he got abducted by aliens yet again. She has him show the supposed probes in the back of his head and mentions that she saw the UFOs last night and they are coming back for her son. To protect her she mentions she has her Ouija Board where she plans to channel the spirit of J. Edgar Hoover.

4. During the phase of the meal where people name things they are thankful for your grandfather says, “That I’m so old that if I killed your grandmother they couldn’t send me to prison for too long because I will be dead soon.” And then he passes out.

3. As a family craft you are making turkey’s by tracing your hand. However, your cousin who has been struck by lightning (and survived) three times cannot partake. It’s because he is having a bad reaction to the electrical socket not so far away.

2. You open the bathroom door to pee and turn on the lights. Lo and behold your grandmother is using the bath tub to mix the stuffing.

1. Thanksgiving makes you remember when times are tough you have family. But when you have family, that’s when you need egg nog with plenty of Southern Comfort.