A China university has built the world's largest earthquake simulator.  The second largest earthquake simulator is Kirstie Alley.

Kirstie Alley will be rewarded with yet another reality show, for 2010.  She's almost there; she weighed in today at 2007 and 3/4.

DeGeneres was picked even though she has no formal music training.  In related news, Kirstie Alley was chosen to be a judge on  "America's Next Top Model."

Isn't that like Kirstie Alley telling Americans they need to lose weight.

On the “Tyra” show this Wednesday, host Tyra Banks revealed that she recently lost 30 pounds.

Apparently, Kirstie Alley found it. 

Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez and Libya’s Muammar Gaddafi have joined forces to urge the world to redefine the word “terrorism”. The diplomatic equivalent of Oprah and Kirstie Alley attempting to redefine the word "diet".

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Worried that she might be the gang's next target, police are giving 24-hour protection to Kirstie Alley. 

Somali pirates must be licking their lips the same way Kirstie Alley would for the world's largest cupcake. 

The call for a ban was prompted by last week's visit by Kirstie Alley.

NASA scientists have just discovered an enormous ring around Saturn.  "It's incredibly huge...it almost approaches the size of that ring we found back in 2002, when we figured out how to spread apart Kirstie Alley's ass!"

 A diet heavy in processed and fatty foods increases the risk of depression.  This may explain why Kirstie Alley has the suicide hotline on speed dial.