Stereotypes can put you in some awkward situations.  Like the other week I was out of town and getting hungry.  I didn't really know where any restaurants were, but I saw this black guy walking down the street and pulled over.  I said, "Excuse me sir, but could you tell me where the KFC is at?"  And he responded, "TYPICAL WHITE AMERICA, askin' the Black Man where the Chicken be at....  So you ASSUME because I'm a brother, that I know where the KFC's at?"  And I said, "NO Sir, you've got this ALL wrong.  I ASSUMED, since you were wearing the uniform that you could tell me how to get there!"  

A Kentucky census worker was reported to have died from asphyxiation. I guess that's less work for next year. 

The toothbrush was invented 511 years ago in China. The technology is expected to make its way into Great Britain and Kentucky any day now.

A Rick Pitino sex scandal has emerged with a woman alleging rape and Pitino alleging extortion. Pitino cheated on his wife, had sex with a stranger at a table in a fancy restaurant, and gave her $3K for a medical procedure. And that's his side of the story.

...reality TV goes rural this fall when Bravo Television network premieres "The Real Housewives of the Appalachian Trail."  The show will feature 16 women and 32 teeth. 

Police immediately ruled out as suspects George Bush, Paris Hilton, and any resident of Kentucky.

A truck in Kentucky, carrying 80 pigs,has overturned.The accident allowed all of the pigs to be let loose.And thus,the swine flu season officially begins!

I wonder if Native Americans celebrate Columbus day...It'd be like Detroit celebrating slavery.

There was a sign in the road that said no "U" turns, too bad it left out the cursive "V" turn....or upside down “n” turn......I think I'll take the cursive "V".

I know a genius....to bad he's retarded. 

When I was a kid, soccer was my anti drug, now that i'm all grown up, marijuana is my gateway drug. 

Cocaine is just sugar all grown up....Have you ever had the all grown up frosted flakes? ...............THEY'RRRRRRRRRRRREE... addictive

My girlfriend is so clingy and obsessed, i have a better chance getting rid of herpes than her.

Flies are like the herpes of insects, you can get rid of them for a while, but they always come back...ant's are like crabs....fucking everywhere.

Edible underwear are just fruit roll ups tied into a pretzel.

I'm pretty sure i'm good at drinking....but i don't remember.

I got a golden glove, not in baseball, in boxing....I always caught a good punch...with my face

I hate male porn stars, they make me feel shitty about myself.... and last time i tried to choke a girl like they do, she just kicked the shit out of me.

I tried hard in school....until the second day came.

Guys, I figured out what turns a girl on, the power button.

I'm good at sex, I've gotten every girl I've had sex with to scream “Get Off!!!” interpret that anyway you please.

My mind sucks at wandering....it always gets stuck in the gutter

I live life in the fast lane....of a traffic jam.

(talking to the crowd)Over the years, i've realized i'm a lot funnier the drunker you are......to an extent.

I approach every math problem with the same thing... a blank stare

I was late for work the other day, and my boss asked me why i was late, so i told him i got lost....He asked where....

I don't think prostitutes ever got the bird and the bees talk.

People say God is flawless...Have you ever seen the people from Kentucky??? The big guy forgot to double check that one.

If Jesus was the greatest man to walk the earth, can I be the second best?

I don't think Hitler was loved enough as a child.

Kentucky needs a Major-League Baseball team called the Fried Chickens.