Thousands of dead Floridians are registered to vote and some in Central Florida had ballots cast in their names long after their deaths. After hearing the news, John McCain immediately headed down to Florida to campaign directly at the cemetaries.

Browne sued  McCain for using his song "Running on Empty" in a campaign video without his permission.  This isn't the first time McCain used music without permission  in a political campaign.   In 1780, he was sued by Mozart.

John McCain said that sending less than 40,000 troops to Afghanistan "would be an error of historic proportions."  Perhaps we should take heed of McCain, who chose Sarah Palin, making him an expert on " errors of historic proportions."

President Barack Obama signed a joint resolution of the Senate and the House that made Casimir Pulaski an honorary citizen, 230 years after the Polish nobleman died fighting for the American colonies against the British.   In a statement released today, Senator John McCain said, "It was a privilege and honor for me to fight along side this brave man."

President Obama, V.P. Joe Biden, Prof. Henry Gates, and Sgt. James Crowley all met at the White House Rose Garden yesterday .  Obama said,  " I'm so glad we were all able to gather here today . Mrs Cindy McCain, the Anheuser-Busch heiress  was happy to donate a few kegs of  Budweiser for this important occassion . "   A very frustrated Prof Gates moaned , " I don't wanna be drinkin' that old Cracker Lady's beer . Gimme a Colt .45 instead ! "   Joe Biden agreed, " Yeah, I think I'll have a Scotch & Soda instead of the beer . "   Sgt Crowley joined in , " The Bud's fine but i rather they drop a shot of whiskey in mine and make it a Boilermaker . "    Not willing to be out done by his manly guests, Barack told the White House waitress   " Oh Missy , can i please have a double Pink Frozen Daiquiri ? " ........  Five minutes later the gang of 4 were heard whooping it up and telling Michael Jackson Jokes  .................................................................................(K&W)    

Ted Kennedy was known as the "lion of the Senate."  Similarly, John McCain is referred to as the "saber-toothed tiger of the Senate."

 Technology continues to advance at breakneck speed.  Even John McCain finally ditched his trusty 78 speed turntable. He was spotted jogging near the Washington monument sporting his new 8 track player.

TALK SHOW HOST: According to his Twitter, Senator John McCain just went over 1 million followers on his profile.

Here are some of his followers favorite tweets:

• "Can I go home? It's getting dark out!"

• "When's soup-time?!"

• "My caregiver's been stealing from me!"

And

• "Glenn Close is hot!"

SIDEKICK: His other tweets are his daily letters to FDR. 

John McCain knows a lot about appropriate troop levels.   After all,  it was McCain who had called for more troops to be added to the American Army during the Revolutionary War.  

...bigger than Meghan McCain's breasts on Twitter.

7-29-09

Now I don't want to pontificate but why in a modern age are we bound by the shackles of  irrelevant guidelines so out dated they make Alexander Graham Bell's first prototypes look like an updated iPhone from the year 2025?

I mean seriously between the rules of religious documents from other millenniums to the regulations of legal documents from other centuries the newest code we follow is 6 months older than McCain's great-great grandfather's baby journal photos on papyrus.

Gandhi said, before you break the rules, you must know them. Well hey study time is over, final exams are graded and it's time to cut loose over Spring Break in Cancun, alright?

Hey, stop waiting for Godot, pick up the pen, and let's make these arbitrary absurdities less strict than Fellini as Drill Master Sergeant at Fascism boot camp.

Seriously folks, I mean, let's not cite from the Sex Pistol's lyrics or the pages of the Anarchist's Cookbook.

But let's face it people, wind your sundial from BC to digital with a little Abby Hoffman revolution or James Dean rebellion by declaring a new independence from the old Declaration of Independence.

Alright, hell the Old Testament was old since the birth of Christ. It's so old that we consider it's 2000 yr young sequel the NEW one, okay!

What I'm saying is, if we don't upgrade from all these ridiculous relic restrictions then we're a twelve sided dice piece and nerdy-anal-retentive-level 6-wizard of middle earth away from following more stupid instructions than a level-1-newbie-dwarf in a dictatorship of Dungeons and Dragons.

Bottom line and truth be told, times change, people change, and so should our hand books of social norms.

On the other hand I said I don't want to pontificate, so whatever, y'know?