...Isiah Thomas has been hired as basketball coach at Florida International University....Isiah is anxious to get to work and cant wait to run the program into the ground. 

Isiah Thomas has signed a five-year contract to become the new coach at little known Florida International University. On the positive side, the games will be so boring that he'll no longer need sleeping pills.

Florida International University is close to striking a deal with Isiah Thomas. We're guessing Thomas has put together a fantastic intramural team.

Because soon George Bush & Isiah Thomas will each be running something.

Isiah's failures could no longer be restricted to North America.

Legendary NFL broadcaster John  Madden announced his retirement from broadcasting but said he would continue using the Telestrator to diagram things that are nearly impossible to explain, “such as the Isiah Thomas hiring.”

Isiah Thomas lost his coaching debut at Florida International. So we don't have anything new to report.

Roy Jones Jr. was soundly outboxed by Joe Calzaghe at Madison Square Garden.  When we heard an old has-been got humilated at the Garden, we thought the Knicks rehired Isiah Thomas.

Isiah Thomas is upset that his first game as a college head coach will come against defending national champion North Carolina. Thomas was hoping to face a much easier team - like the New York Knicks.

Isiah Thomas has stepped up and said he will volunteer to be the head of basketball operations for the new President.......provided he can hand pick his own interns.