A Chicago couple has named their new baby girl Addison N. Clark in tribute to the streets around Wrigley Field. Which is a much better name than "Wait Til Next Year."
 

I think Sammy Sosa is trying to make a comeback with the White Sox. 

So where are they going to put all the Illinois politicians?   

The Chicago Cubs signed Rudy Jaramillo to be their new hitting coach. Jaramillo took the job because he likes a challenge, and felt world peace was just too easy.
 

In annual survey, Afghanistan was second only to Illinois.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again -- even if it takes 949 more times! In Seoul, South Korea, 68-year-old Cha Sa-soon FINALLY passed her written exam for a driver's license on her 950th attempt! No kidding. She has taken the test nearly every day since April 2005. The aspiring driver spent more than $4,200 in application fees, but until now had failed to score the minimum 60 out of a possible 100 points. She finally scored an even 60. Of course now she must pass a driving test before getting her license.  ***MARLAR: Other South Korean drivers don’t seem to be too concerned.  They’ve seen her drive and she’s still better than Chicago cabbies.

The University of Cincinnati Bearcats are off to their best start since 1954. Meanwhile, the Cincinnati Bengals are off to their best start since last week.

 The U.N. General Assembly declared on Monday that Afghanistan's presidential election was both credible and sound, despite allegations that dead people from Illinois voted.

The Chicago Bears signed Jay Cutler to a two-year extension.  Or 100 fourth-quarter interceptions, whichever comes first.
 

The University of Chicago is joining a nationwide trend of allowing male and female students to live not just on the same dorm floor but in the same dorm room. The university’s open housing program won’t include freshman and students won’t need parental permission to participate. In a related story, the Chicago area retailers have noticed a significant increase in the sale of glow in the dark condoms, porn and night vision goggles.

An Illinois man has admitted banking more than $470,000 in paychecks from a New Jersey company he never worked for. Cosmo Kramer is expected to be sent back to New York where he will enter a not guilty plea.