...Baghdad has opened its first Ben & Jerry's ice cream store.  The most popular flavor is Iraqi Road.  A delicious combination of chocolate ice cream, with nuts, marshmallows, and schrapnel. 

Miley Cyrus performed a suggestive pole dance atop an ice cream cart during last night's Teen Choice Awards.  It was her answer to "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" 

Ben and Jerry's, the Vermont based ice cream company is celebrating the states move to approve gay marriage by renaming the popular "Chubby Hubby" as "Hubby Hubby" for the next month.

The ice cream flavor is mostly vanilla , mixed with chocolate covered, peanut butter-filled pretzels, with a peanut butter ripple and filled with fudge.

Nothing says gayer than an ice cream with little tunnels of pretzels filled with peanut butter, brown swirly ripples followed by a fudge packing.

Gerrie Hawes of Fresh Daisy, an organic frozen baby food company, says she's finally solved the problem of how to get toddlers to eat their greens. She's invented green pea ice cream.  She also has ice cream and frozen yogurt recipes that include broccoli, carrots, parsnips and cabbage.  ***MARLAR: And if it doesn’t get them to eat their greens, it’s a great way to get them off of ice cream.

Milwaukee Brewers first baseman Prince Fielder helped defeat the St. Louis Cardinals with an infield single. The last time Fielder ran that fast there was an ice cream truck involved.

Billy Mays here for OxiMoron! 

Stubborn stains can make a pretty ugly mess of your household fabrics..  Not anymore!  Removing stains just got easier.  Just apply OxiMoron and watch that stain grow smaller and smaller, then virtually disappear.

Need help removing a Hot chili stain? No problem, use OxiMoron.

Fried ice cream, OxiMoron!

Jumbo shrimp, OxiMoron!

You will be terribly pleased with the great results.  OxiMoron even works on that expensive sleeveless T-shirt you bought last summer, or on your real polyester bedroom curtains.  It also works great on the surface of your authentic replica, plastic silverware.

We are not nearly finished!  It even works on rubber cement, non-alcoholic beer, and that vegetable beef soup your uninvited guest spilled last night.

You can spend a small fortune on household cleaners, but you won't.  Not until you unleash the power of OxiMoron!

Today, Stewart Cink beat Tom Watson in the British Open. 

Real nice Stew.  Afterwards he was seeing tripping an old lady with a walker, knocking ice cream out of a childs hand and stealing food from the homeless.

Next week he's entered himself into a horseshoe tournament against disabled players with no arms.   

I have submitted a new flavor to Ben & Jerry's ice cream,called Halleberry.It is a heavenly mocha treat,but the price triples when you lick it.

Ben and Jerry's announced they have changed the name of their new ice cream from Chubby Hubby to Hubby Hubby to support gay marriage.

 Critics say not only does it taste like shit, but theres too many nuts in it.

 They are also offering a hetero container so republicans can eat it in the closet.

William Rudd, a 64-year-old retiree from Salem, has collected more than 1,500 prizes including food, gift certificates and other goodies under the state lottery's "Replay" program, which gives losing lottery tickets a second chance to win. Here's just a sampling of his haul: four bottles of maple syrup, 20 pizzas, 33 ice cream cones, 86 cinnamon buns, 92 steakhouse gift certificates, 161 chicken sandwiches, and 484 cups of coffee to wash it all down. Oh, yeah. And a one-month fitness club membership.  ***MARLAR: Well, the bible does say “the last will be first.”