I met a woman who lives in Hurricane, West Virginia. Nothing like naming your town after recurring natural disasters. Makes you wonder if there's a Flash Flood, Missouri or Schwarzenegger, California.

Ok, so the other day I was watching a porno. Yes I have watched a porno or two in my lifetime. Anyway, it's a lesbian scene, I think men like those, well one of the women chose to wear a strap-on. Now I am really confused, I know it's a movie, but I had to ask one of my friends who is a practicing lesbian what she thought about this practice. She told me that some lesbians like the penis, but they just don't like what it's attached to. Are you serious? I mean, men love vaginas, but give me a break, we don't always like what they're attached to either. Then I thought, how great it would be if there were detachable vaginas. I would'nt be wasting my time right now typing this bulleting/blog, I would be playing with my vaginas. In fact, every man I know would be playing with their vaginas. We'd have vagina trading parties. Hey man, I got that Asian vagina, what you got?

Women would'nt be taking self defense classes anymore, they would be taking protect your vagina classes.

Can you imagine if someone stole your vagina? The police would call and tell you that they found your vagina and you have to come down to the police station to identify your vagina. I bet you would come home with the wrong vagina

They would probably have bootleg vaginas at the flea markets.

Can you imaging if you were a father with a sixteen-year-old daughter? You would probably have a special place for her vagina right over the mantle. She'l probably come down stairs--getting ready to go to a party, you look at the mantle to see the vagina missing and say, "Young lady, are'nt you forgetting something?" "Oh yeah, love you daddy!" she replies. "Young lady!!! (pointing to the mantle) where's the vagina?" "Awww dad, all the other girls are going the have their vaginas at the party, how come I can't bring my vagina to the party?" "So, what you're telling me is that if those girls were to throw their vaginas over the bridge you'd throw your vagina over too?"

Women would probably have to get vagina alarms so they can use public bathrooms. "Chirp! Chirp!"

What if you put a lock on your vagina and locked your keys in it? You'd have to call Pop-A-Coochie!

Now this is serious, for the hurricane, how many of you women would remember to pack your vagina? I can see it now. This is CNN, we go live to New Orleans, can we get an assessment on what's going on there? Yes, there are vaginas all over the place. Women would be calling FEMA trying to get replacement vaginas.

Oprah would probably have a special show, Reuniting Women With Their Vaginas.

It sounds like a Halloween story, and we’re skeptical, but they say this one is true.  A University of Florida scientist has grown a living "brain" - a group of 25,000 rat brain neurons - in a glass dish, and they are interacting via computer with an F-22 fighter jet flight simulator. It's already "learned" how to control the pitch and roll of the jet in conditions ranging from blue skies to hurricane force winds.  ***MARLAR: Be looking for “FrankenRat” to be piloting your flight on Southwest Airlines soon.

The World Meteorological Organization has retired the name Ike because of the destruction the storm caused which included 100 casualties and an estimated $19.3 billion in property damage.

On another note, the Cincinnati Reds are still not allowed to formally retire Pete Roses number because of his ban for betting on baseball.

Hurricane Ike (Turner) is back and ready to smack around more bitches. 

Houston Texans owner Bob McNair has discussed the possibility of his team playing at Rice Stadium in the wake of Hurricane Ike. The only thing stopping McNair is the fear that the Texans will be the second best team in the stadium.