Barack Obama on Monday filled the Rose Garden with doctors supportive of his health care overhaul.  No wonder I had no trouble getting a tee time.   

Majority Leader Harry Reid is considering a plan for higher payroll taxes on upper-income earners to help finance health care legislation.   So apparently, health care willl be paid for by the New York Yankees. 

In related news, Joan Rivers cancels big Democratic fund raiser.  

President Barack Obama assured American Indians that they have a place  on his agenda, telling tribal leaders they deserve more from their government.   Tribal leaders told the President they need more funding for such things as education, health care, and slot machines.

In a desperate measure to get votes, Speaker Nancy Pelosi offered to give fence-sitting Congressmen a lap dance.

H1N1 is such a menace these days that it's put a dung topping on American Health Care. Yes, the Swine Flu is such a harbinger of doom that human experimentation of the drug seems to be best left alone. If pigs can fly, let's just say a better health care system for U.S. Citizens seems as close as shoving a 1,000 pound sow through the eye of a hypo-needle. 

Bill Clinton plans to visit Capitol Hill today to discuss health care legislation with Senate Democrats.  Clinton wants to be sure that any health care bill covers STD testing.

 A proposal to levy a 5 percent surcharge on cosmetic procedures could help pay for the health overhaul.  Just think...Michael Jackson alone could have funded health care!

Today Headline.....

FAA glitch causes widespread US air travel delays!

Tomorrow Headline....

Health Care Administration glitch causes widespread Us deaths! 

A Democratic senator from Arkansas is not sure if she'll vote for the health care bill because she wants to make sure that it's good for the people in her state.  I say, "Vote for the bill.  We'll fly all 7 people in your state to our New York doctors whenever they're sick!."

In Virginia, death row inmates get to choose between execution by electric chair or lethal injection. This limited number of choices reflects poorly on the state's creativity. How about death by fireworks, where the criminal is zapped by fireworks from Lady Gaga's bra? Or how about death by boredom, where a prisoner is forced to read the entire 2,000 page House of Representatives health care bill? (Oops, we forgot that "cruel and unusual punishment" is ruled out by the Eighth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.)