...retailers are reporting that the 3 most popular Halloween costumes for 2009 are Harry Potter, Star Trek, and the Bernie Madoff.  The Bernie Madoff costume kit comes with 3 flies which you put on your shoulder and then go as a piece of shit.  

An Ohio man dressed as a Breathalyzer test for Halloween found himself blowing into one after police stopped him for allegedly driving the wrong way without headlights on a one-way street. A similar incident happened to a man who was dressed up as a penis.

A Halloween costume featuring an alien mask and fake green card is being criticized by immigration rights groups.  "We still expect it to make lots of money." said costume designer Lou Dobbs.

Everyone visiting former vice president Dick Cheney's house that night gets a free shotgun blast in the face. Cheney's excited about Halloween. He's going to go out trick or treating as the ghost of torture past.

Or as some people refer to it, National Night Out for sexual predators.

Hundreds of senior citizens outside Chicago got an unexpected Halloween treat Saturday -- a free party sponsored by a jilted bride. Six days before Teanne Harris was to walk down the aisle, her fiancé called off the wedding. And when Harris and her mother went to the catering hall to cancel the reception, they were told their deposit was nonrefundable. That's when Harris noticed the Asbury Court Retirement Community across the street. So instead of letting a Halloween-themed wedding reception go to waste, Harris, 34, decided to move the party to the retirement home. It was a great time for all involved.  ***MARLAR: Plus she found a lot of eligible bachelors.

This is a warning to all the kids who stop at Dick Cheney's house this Halloween.You will NOT,I repeat NOT,be bobbing for apples.It's one of his water torture come-ons.

Manu Ginobili was given a rabies shot after catching a bat on Halloween. Kobe Bryant was given a rabies shot after shaking hands with Ron Artest.

Produced by my friends at Giant Gnome Productions.  I play the part of Frankenstein's monster.  HAPPY HALLOWEEN to you!

Has the housing market gotten so bad that people are now using ghosts as real estate agents to avoid commissions?