During a news conference yesterday in Iraq, President Bush ducked two shoes that were thrown at him by an Arabic television correspondent.  An Iraqi authority was asked if the man would be punished.  "Of course, he will punished," the Iraqi authority said,  "he missed."

   Modern liberal philosophy consists of the following precepts:  George W. Bush, stupid.  Dick Cheney, evil.   Sarah Palin, clueless.

   Admittedly, resentment of a  few  individuals hardly represents the breadth of  leftist thinking.  Therefore, to be comprehensive, I should include:  Barack Obama, good.

   (Joe Biden, asshole, is a bipartisan notion.)

2009 has been a big year for us.  We made history this year!  Got a new President... out with the Bush, in with the Fro!  President Obama declared 2009 the year of Change, but a lot of people believe we haven't seen that change.  I beg to differ.  I'm proud to say that after years of discrimination and fighting that FINALLY Taco Bell has offered us a Black Taco!  

When I say to people that it's a little early to give Obama a Nobel Peace prize.  Some argue that he's done a lot more for peace in 8 months than Bush did in 8 years.

I would like to point out that George Bush should be in jail, and not simply overlooked for a peace prize.  Yes, Obama is a better president, but it's only been 8 months folks! I give him an incomplete.... I would give him "World Leader of the Month" for some months, but Nobel is jumping the gun.    

...Dina Lohan has begun selling her own line of footwear, with the design emphasis being of mid-eastern style.  The shoes are very stylish, reasonably priced, and can be thrown at a president with remarkable ease & comfort.  

Former President George W. Bush made his debut as a motivational speaker Monday night, telling a Texas crowd it’s futile to waste energy chasing popularity.

The next stop on Bush’s speaking tour: a Texas rehab center… where he will tell patients that being an alcoholic and an addict doesn’t mean you can’t be President.

Bush will follow this up with an engagement at the National Convention for Motivational Speakers… where he will tell his colleagues that a poor vocabulary is, in fact, a prerequisite for motivational speaking.

In response to the heckling, Joe Biden shook his head, Nancy Pelosi scowled, and George Bush instinctively ducked.    

...after widespread corruption and voter fraud were found in Afghanistan's recent presidential election, the United States has sent over a delegation from the Florida Board of Elections to do another recount and certify a winner.  The challenger Abdullah Abdullah has quit the race in protest.  The recount was completed, and George Bush has been declared the winner.  

 The Iraqi journalist who threw a shoe at former President George W. Bush will be released early for good behavior.

However, this has lead to serious questions about the timing of the release. Such as, why didn't this happen sooner?

President Obama's decision to scrap former President George W. Bush's plans for a missile defense shield in Eastern Europe came under harsh criticism from some members of Congress who, invoking Cold War memories, warned that the move would "empower" Russia. Apparently, President Obama never saw the movie “Red Dawn.”

George W. Bush is now a "motivational speaker".  He's apparently quite successful at it too; his first talk motivated the audience to register as Democrats and stop pronouncing it "Nuke-ya-lure".