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Eddie Murphy's comedy “Norbit” opened this weekend as the top movie with $33.7 million, according to studio estimates. The numbers are a bit skewed, though. Actually, playing the part of every moviegoer was Eddie Murphy.
"Eddie Murphy has reportedly told a Dutch TV station, that he is not the father of Scary Spice's child-to-be. Great news for people concerned with the coming of the Anti-Christ, terrible news for manufacturer's of silver bullets."
The movie Hounddog is drawing criticism for a child rape scene involving twelve-year old actress Dakota Fanning. Upon seeing all the free publicity this got for the film, other movie productions have announced the inclusion of child rape scenes, including Garfield, that Eddie Murphy thing with the fat suit, and the Rocky Balboa DVD release deleted scenes.
Michael Strahan was recently seen with Eddie Murphy's ex-wife Nicole. The relationship isn't expected to last long, because she said the giant gap in his teeth reminds her of the emptiness that was "Norbit".
Ok. Enough is enough. Kasten came into the show whining like a little bitch because that slut in Florida decided that she would rather have some balding fat guy invade her lady parts. Big deal. The money Dave would have spent on a plane ticket would have only been half what he would have spent on a prescription to cure the resulting syphilis. Now the only contagious disease is the bad attitude, which Chris Iacono contracted immediately from then sex talk and declared a moratorium on Kasten’s love woes until he at least makes it to second base with a living human girl.
The crew agreed to move onto more realistic goals, and decided to start a team in the comedy softball league. Chris held hope that The Comical could rally in the sport despite not even having enough players, while Danny was determined to make The Comical the most losingest softball team in history. The main objective: To waste the other teams time in the same way he does his guests on the show. When losing is the aim, victory is always a sure thing. Take note, Kasten!
In the News with a Punchline Update from Dillon: A new album of previously unreleased Mitch Hedberg material is slated to be released. Chris seemed concerned that coroprations were making money off the genius post-humously, maybe the bigger issue is that Iacono’s career is dead presently. Just buy the album and enjoy it. Also coming back to standup from the dead is Eddie Murphy. Can he come back from the hatred he has sewn from years of fat suits and talking animal bits? The comical crew waits on bated breath to hate him.
In an attempt to close the issue forever, Myka surprised Dave Kasten with a reenactment of his wet dream about her. She appeared in a white dress, white knee-high stockings and twirled around the room ala the nymph fantasy that had him cumming in his sheets less the a week earlier. Did he lose his shit? Did he turn his pants into a set of use bedroom sheets? No! He sat there uninspired and loathing his state of existence. Despite reservations, Myka was coaxed into sitting on his lap to complete the fantasy, and fortunately did not detect the immediate erection that resulted. Final Score: Fantasy gag: 0. Minutes of masturbation fodder: Thousands
The last hour of the show was graced with comedian Greg Proops, most famous from the original “Whose Line is It Anyways”, in town performing standup a Comix. Members of the crew took turns sharing the “Do you remember when you met me?” stories, and each of them was returned by Proops with a resounding, “No.” Proops spent the rest of the time fielding questions on the ramifications of exposing a personal life on stage versus not, and generally being smarter than everyone in the room. By the end everyone agreed that he show went pretty well for being recorded in 1948.
And that was the show! Make sure to listen this Monday, The Comical will return with Ray Allen, Dan Naturman, and Dominick Dierkes.
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Eddie Murphy's comedy “Norbit” opened this weekend as the top movie with $33.7 million, according to studio estimates. The numbers are a bit skewed, though. Actually, playing the part of every moviegoer was Eddie Murphy.
Do You Know Eddie Murphy? 
Ok. Enough is enough. Kasten came into the show whining like a little bitch because that slut in Florida decided that she would rather have some balding fat guy invade her lady parts. Big deal. The money Dave would have spent on a plane ticket would have only been half what he would have spent on a prescription to cure the resulting syphilis. Now the only contagious disease is the bad attitude, which Chris Iacono contracted immediately from then sex talk and declared a moratorium on Kasten’s love woes until he at least makes it to second base with a living human girl.
Oil prices continue to fall because demand is declining. And yet tickets to Eddie Murphy movies remain full price. Hmmm.
