General Motors said it would decide this week what to do with its struggling Hummer brand. They would have done this last week, but some douche with a Hummer took up three parking spaces and everyone had to circle the lot until now. 

Unemployment is now 10.2 percent. How bad is the economy? The economy is so bad that Archie is pimping Betty AND Veronica. The economy is so bad that people are using the DMV as a portrait studio. The economy is so bad the former Miss USA, Carrie Prejean, had to pawn her implants. The economy is so bad, Donald Trump had to fire himself. The economy is so bad, the Three Little Pigs can't afford to get swine flu. The economy is so bad, the GEICO caveman ate the GEICO Gecko. The economy is so bad, Madonna adopted a baby from Detroit.

In his comments on the current jobless "recovery" yesterday, President Obama said he is looking "at new models for where future growth is going to come from." 

"We'll look at anything, except capitalism of course, that's crazy talk," he said.

The suspect in the Fort Hood murders apparently had “financial woes.” Wow, blow the heads off a bunch of people. That’s one way to get the creditors off your back.

in light of recent economic times, I will not be mailing out fruit baskets this year as I am opting for sending out individual pieces of fruit in the mail...if you happen to receive an apple or an orange, it's likely from me....

The laid-off worker said he will file for unemployment.  

The economy has gotten so bad that I had to say goodbye to my stockbroker.

I now have my pawnbroker on speed-dial. 

Late credit cards payments have taken a sharp spike, which analysts say is a sign that the economy is leaving consumers broke.  ***MARLAR: Whew!  It’s a good thing we still have our credit cards then, isn’t it?

How bad is the economy? The economy's so bad that 50 Cent changed his name to 25 Cent.

Putting a good spin on bad news : April 15, 1912 , White Star Liner officials announce, : Titanic sinks, but the good news is 705 people were rescued . Unfortunately 1517 died but they were mostly lower class steerage passengers  .  ****** Election Day November 7, 1972 : President Nixon beats George McGovern in a lopsided landslide victory. The McGovern campaign manager declared, " We may have lost 49 out of 50 states including George's home state of South Dakota, but we won Massachusetts ! "  ********  November 16, 2009  General Motors announces a loss of Only $1.2 Billion Dollars for the third quarter. President Obama was so pleased with the good news G.M. didn't lose another $6 billion of taxpayer money as had been expected.  He said on Chinese National TV, " I think it's time we pop open the champaigne bottles and celebrate ! "   .

The economy is so bad that Eggos are now facing rationing!