Workers across New York City were concerned today as a strange gas-like odor filled the air. A statement by the mayor's office attributed the odor to a gas leak in Chelsea, however, many anticipate an additonal statement by Donald Trump attributing it to Rosie O'Donnell.

Unemployment is now 10.2 percent. How bad is the economy? The economy is so bad that Archie is pimping Betty AND Veronica. The economy is so bad that people are using the DMV as a portrait studio. The economy is so bad the former Miss USA, Carrie Prejean, had to pawn her implants. The economy is so bad, Donald Trump had to fire himself. The economy is so bad, the Three Little Pigs can't afford to get swine flu. The economy is so bad, the GEICO caveman ate the GEICO Gecko. The economy is so bad, Madonna adopted a baby from Detroit.

Donald Trump picked Joan Rivers as the winner, over Annie Duke, a professional poker player.

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My dentist is a bigger celebrity than Annie Duke, and nobody has ever heard of him either.

Senior citizens across America rejoiced as 75-year-old Joan Rivers was hired as Donald Trump’s new “Celebrity Apprentice,” a job in title only. A senior hasn’t held a prestigious no-show job since Dick Cheney was Vice President.  

I can't wait to see what's under it! 

Miss California Carrie Prejean has been stripped of her crown for skipping events while speaking out against gay marriage at unsanctioned appearances. Ironically, assuming the reign of Miss California will be runner-up and wife of Ellen DeGeneres, Portia De Rossi.

www.jerrywolski.com

Donald Trump said that Carrie Prejean may keep her title as Miss California.  But the state's title for Biggest Waste of Headline Space . . . that still belongs to the L.A. Clippers. 

When Donald Trump asked world war I veteran Henry Allingham 113(the new,oldest man in the world) if he would stay out of the gay marriage controversy.Henry paused for a moment and replied,"Dam straight."

A New York City hot dog vendor has been evicted from his spot outside the Metropolitan Museum of Art because he couldn't pay his rent bill of $54,000 a month.  The snack cart owner said that he was $310,000 behind on his rent payments.  At that price, there is only one man that can save the hot dog vendor cart in front of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  New, this fall, look for the Donald Trump Kosher, 100% all-beef hot dog, putting the reality back into hot dogs.  The hot dog that plays apprentice to no one...

A former administrative-law judge who unsuccessfully sued a dry cleaner for 54 million dollars over a pair of lost pants tried to convince an appeals panel that he deserves the money because he is a fraud victim.

When asked if he thought this was a frivolous lawsuit, Donald Trump responded with “Of course not. In fact I just filed a 1.2 trillion dollar lawsuit against everyone on the planet”.

When asked why.

Donald said. “ I figure everyone on the planet has done at least one thing to piss me off”.

Donald Trump's casino group  had  total debts of about $1.74 billion on December 31, 2008.  To put that in perspective, it's nearly two times the amount of money Trump spent on hair spray last year.