Modern liberal philosophy consists of the following precepts:  George W. Bush, stupid.  Dick Cheney, evil.   Sarah Palin, clueless.

   Admittedly, resentment of a  few  individuals hardly represents the breadth of  leftist thinking.  Therefore, to be comprehensive, I should include:  Barack Obama, good.

   (Joe Biden, asshole, is a bipartisan notion.)

The pilots of that wayward Airbus A-320 now admit they were using their laptops while overshooting the airport by 150 miles . The laptop's names were : Flight Attendant Bette "Busty" Bennington and Flight Attendant "Fiery" Fiona Fiorentino .  Pilots Richard Cole and Timothy Cheney admitted to FBI agents and NTSB investigators, " That was one hell of a career ending Lap-Dance we got at 37,000 feet ! "

Former Vice President Dick Cheney is undergoing surgery today to deal with a case of spinal stenosis.

"And by spinal stenosis," said Anthony Caputy, the doctor performing the surgery, "We mean the experimental serum we invented to keep his feet from morphing back into hooves is wearing off."

Republicans demanded equal time so Dick Cheney waterboarded Stewie on "Family Guy." 

In related news, Dick Cheney said today that he is going to get his GED. 

The tiny heart muscle will be used in a transplant operation to replace a similar sized one in Dick Cheney.

A spokesman for Long John Silver's expressed concern the restaurant chain may lose its best customer--Dick Cheney.

Everyone visiting former vice president Dick Cheney's house that night gets a free shotgun blast in the face. Cheney's excited about Halloween. He's going to go out trick or treating as the ghost of torture past.

"I thought my heart problems stemmed from poor diet and lack of exercise," explained Dick Cheney.

This is a warning to all the kids who stop at Dick Cheney's house this Halloween.You will NOT,I repeat NOT,be bobbing for apples.It's one of his water torture come-ons.