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The funniest Entertainment jokes from this month last year:
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My brother said that he thinks Dane Cook's career is just an elaborate ploy to get laid.
I told him that almost everything anybody ever does is part of an elaborate ploy to get laid.
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Litchfield, CT (AP) -- Four Connecticut teenagers have pleaded guilty to going on a three-town
crime spree that authorities say was inspired by a joke by comedian Dane Cook. Officials say the teens smashed mail boxes and threw rocks through some windows, enacting a joke Cook made on an HBO special about committing a "B&E," or breaking and entering.
In their defense, the teens say they actually got the idea from another bunch of teens, and just changed it around a little bit.
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Dane Cook has broken a Laugh Factory endurance record by performing for 7 straight hours. The club will now change its name to the Twitch & Spaz Nervous Laughter Factory.
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 The Brobylonian Empire stretched from Western Asia to the verdant valleys of the Mediterranean. Their culture boasted many achievements, from the Tower of Brant, the Hanging Gardens of Brobylon, and a sexigesimal mathematic system, which included an understanding of the Pythagorean theorem long before Pythagoras. Too bad Pythagoras can’t use math to find the clit….where the f**k is that thing? However, the Bros are best known for the application of astrology.
F**king read the Wikipedia dude, f**k make you smart.
Horoscopes for the Week of July 4th:
Aquarius: You’re so original dude. I wouldn’t be surprised if you make the most original movie ever. Then you can just coast and hang with Ryan Reynolds and get bl**jobs with champagne.
Pisces: Dane Cook! What a f**king BRO!
Aries: Bro, listen. You need to shave the ‘stache. This is a Bro-ocracy, not a Cheer-ocracy. Read a book.
Taurus: Trent’s at 8. 31 Ave A. Don’t get confused and go to the Black Anus Bar and Grill again – even though that bar has those sweet BBQ wings and some really friendly dudes. Always a bro when you need one.
Gemini: Keg. Stand. Keg. Stand. Keg…stand. Keg stand, keg stand, keg Stand, KEG STAND KEG STAND KEEEEGGGG STTTTAAANND! Yeah! I f**king love this guy!
Cancer: Blue Moon? Where the f**k is the PBR? She’s changed you.
Leo: I read in Chloe’s astrology book that you’re independent. Which is totally true, you always leave the party to start the ghost riding competition. Watch out dude, because once I saw this kid run over himself on Youtube. F**k, dude.
Virgo: Lady Justice is blind, but Bro Justice is not. Remember that when Steve’s being a cunt about the microwave burritos again. Fucking NOT on the stove! They don’t taste better that way! F**king c??t.
Libra: Musical theater is kind of gay. But keep doing your thing man. That chick who played your wife in that last thing was pretty hot…I think…I don’t know. We showed up pretty blitzed. Was she a dude?
Scorpio: You say your going to the bar, but then you don’t call and go out with some muff-top bitty? I don’t mean to drag balls about this, but come on. Hershey highway?
Sagittarius: A centaur? That’s a sweet logo dude. I took my cousin to see Narnia, I thought it was going to be gay, but it’s almost better than Troy. Speaking of Troy, Brad, I heard you’re a Sag. You were f**king cut in that movie. Lets hang.
Capricorn: What? No. Naw dude. Naw. Woah….No.
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In the wake of the scandal involving Eliot Spitzer patronizing the services of high end escorts, one of these girls, Ashley "Kristen" Dupre has received massive amounts of media exposure. Resulting in her myspace page receiving over 9 million page views, therefore making her the most popular whore on myspace since Dane Cook.
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A tanker hauling 6,000 gallons of liquefied hog manure tipped over, spilling about 3,000 gallons of the waste along an Indiana highway, police said.
In other news, for the remainder of his tour, Dane Cook will be without about half of his material.
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