...a NY couple, into "golden showers", were arrested after a loud & vicious fight broke out in their NY apartment...each were convicted of disturbing the peace, sentenced to 69 hours of community service, and ordered  by the judge to "piss & make up." 

A Florida man has been arrested for repeatedly making sexual comments to a 911 dispatcher. Joshua Basso claims it was the only number he could dial after his cell phone ran out of minutes. No word on if he was calling "hands free" or not. 

www.jerrywolski.com

Chinese police are looking for over two million defective condoms.

Police said trespassing charges would not be filed against Rosie O'Donnell.

...comedian Katt Williams was arrested and charged with taking $4000 worth of jewelry from a suburban Atlanta home.  Williams has pleaded innocent to the crime, but the D.A. insists its a jewel of denial.  

Mike Tyson was detained by the police after hitting a photographer at LAX. He was the only person there to make his connection.
 

Seattle police say a man who thought he was ninja was impaled on a metal fence when he tried to leap over it. At least he now knows he is not a vampire.

A United Airlines pilot was arrested at London's Heathrow Airport yesterday for being drunk .  The co-pilot allegedly blew the whistle on pilot Erwin Vermont Washington just moments before they were to take-off . Washington denied he was intoxicated at the time of his arrest . As Scotland Yard detectives escorted Mr Washington out of the cockpit and into a waiting police car, he was heard shouting,  " You damned Brits still can't get over losing the colony 230 years ago ! "   Asked what he will do for a job afterwards, Washington told a reporter " I'll probably sign-up with Northwest Airlines . "

San Diego police are still trying to find the suspect in what they’re calling the “This Ain’t No Joke” robbery series: A Cold Stone Creamery, one Pinkberry and one TF Yogurt robbed within 90 minutes Sunday. The crime method was the same in all five cases. The robber burst through the door and yelled something like “This ain’t no joke:

I’m serious. This is a robbery.” Later that day, comedian Louie Anderson surrendered without incident.

In Anchorage, Alaska, 27-year-old Cheng Saelee robbed his own mother at gunpoint because she wouldn't give him money to help pay a $430 parking ticket! The Anchorage district attorney said that Saelee was also convicted of illegally contacting his mother from jail and trying to get her to drop the charges. Saelee was arrested after he became angry during an argument with his parents, got a handgun from his room and pointed the weapon at his mother.  ***MARLAR: True to a mother’s form though, she immediately spoke up for her son saying he was the best-looking mugger she’d ever seen.

(WTVG-TV News) Whoever just robbed Henry's Jewelers in Toledo, Ohio is going to be in for a big shock. All those gold rings you stole are worth about 25 cents apiece. Owner Henry Triplett says oh sure -- they looked to be worth thousands of dollars. But the "gold" rings in his display case are actually just brass dummies-- mere samples of the real gold rings he keeps safely locked up and out of view. So the real cost of the robbery will only be the expense of replacing his store's front window and the shattered glass on 13 display cases.  ***MARLAR: It won’t be hard to find the culprits.  Just go immediately to the boyfriends of girls you see with green fingers.