A 37 year old man who still lives with his parents ,was arrested after attacking his father with a Christmas Tree because   HEEE`S RETARDED. 

It's too bad Bob Dylan's Christmas album wasn't released during the Bush administration.   Al-Qaeda terrorists would have given up all their secrets.

A California man was sentenced to 2 years of jailtime for aiming a laser pointer at an airplane. He was also found in contempt for giving the judge a reindeer nose. 

Includes an updated version of a holiday classic, "I'm dreaming of a Sammy Sosa Christmas."

In this updated 3-D version of the Dickens classic, cold-hearted Scrooge is played by Jim Carrey.  Carrey got the role after it was turned down by Dick Cheney.

A pair of newlyweds have purchased their dream house in Hamburg, Germany, but were horrified with what they discovered as they moved in. They found the skeletal remains of a man who had been stuck in the chimney for almost 50 years.  ***MARLAR: Wait... is this a scary Halloween story or an even scarier Christmas story?

An elderly couple in Lapland were treated at a hospital after they were attacked by a reindeer.  ***MARLAR: Well now, that "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" song doesn't seem all that funny anymore, does it?

Is Bob Dylan Christian or Jewish these days? It's so hard to keep track. There should be a web site for that like "Is Twitter Down?" Yeah, there's an app for that.

The Cleveland Cavaliers plan to save $40,000 by switching from paper Christmas cards to electronic ones. It was either that or charge Shaquille O'Neal a nickel every time he missed a free throw.

Fort Collins, Colorado's Holiday Display Task Force recommended putting up only white lights because red and green lights might be seen an endorsement of the Christian religion.  ***MARLAR: Because we all remember the story of how Jesus miraculously changed the colors of light bulbs for his birthday. 

Surveillance video at an apartment building captured a deer swimming in an indoor pool for about 15 minutes on Friday. "We were just in shock. We just could not get over it," Meredith Gaddis, the manager at the Ashley Arms apartment building said. The four-point buck apparently had made its way onto the roof above the pool and fell through. The animal, lucky to have survived the fall, proceeded to take a dip. Workers eventually chased the deer out of the building and it ran off into the wilderness.  ***MARLAR: With a nasty case of chlorine-eye.  (The deer have to get as much relaxation time in as possible before Christmas Eve.)