...Rod Blagojevich has said that if Chicago is awarded the 2016 Olympics, that he wants to help out.  Blagojevich said he is willing to volunteer his time to help properly run it right into the ground.   

The mayor of Rio said the city has a long way to go to make the city safe for the Olympics. In other words, it's like Chicago, but with the Olympics.

The Chicago Cubs signed Rudy Jaramillo to be their new hitting coach. Jaramillo took the job because he likes a challenge, and felt world peace was just too easy.
 

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again -- even if it takes 949 more times! In Seoul, South Korea, 68-year-old Cha Sa-soon FINALLY passed her written exam for a driver's license on her 950th attempt! No kidding. She has taken the test nearly every day since April 2005. The aspiring driver spent more than $4,200 in application fees, but until now had failed to score the minimum 60 out of a possible 100 points. She finally scored an even 60. Of course now she must pass a driving test before getting her license.  ***MARLAR: Other South Korean drivers don’t seem to be too concerned.  They’ve seen her drive and she’s still better than Chicago cabbies.

Obama should consider bailing out the Chicago Cubs....then he could win this years Major League Baseball's coveted MVP prize and induction into the Hall of Fame before Pete Rose!  

While some people are still a little bit shy about Internet dating, it's been around longer than you think. Chicago's Chris and Pam Dunn claim to be the first couple to be married after meeting online. Chris Dunn met Pam Jensen on a CompuServe CB Simulator program that linked computer users nationwide in an early version of a chat room. That was back in 1982! After a few months of virtual chatting, Chris booked a flight from New York to Chicago to meet Pam face-to-face. They married a year later and last month celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.  ***MARLAR: They celebrated by sending each other an e-Card.

The Chicago Bears signed Jay Cutler to a two-year extension.  Or 100 fourth-quarter interceptions, whichever comes first.
 

The Chicago Cubs have filed for bankruptcy protection. Which is the first time in a while they've been active in mid-October.
 

Hundreds of senior citizens outside Chicago got an unexpected Halloween treat Saturday -- a free party sponsored by a jilted bride. Six days before Teanne Harris was to walk down the aisle, her fiancé called off the wedding. And when Harris and her mother went to the catering hall to cancel the reception, they were told their deposit was nonrefundable. That's when Harris noticed the Asbury Court Retirement Community across the street. So instead of letting a Halloween-themed wedding reception go to waste, Harris, 34, decided to move the party to the retirement home. It was a great time for all involved.  ***MARLAR: Plus she found a lot of eligible bachelors.

The University of Chicago is joining a nationwide trend of allowing male and female students to live not just on the same dorm floor but in the same dorm room. The university’s open housing program won’t include freshman and students won’t need parental permission to participate. In a related story, the Chicago area retailers have noticed a significant increase in the sale of glow in the dark condoms, porn and night vision goggles.

A clump of Elvis Presley's hair sold for $15,000 at a Chicago auction. But that's nothing. In 2002, a clump of the singer's hair went for almost $115,000! Remember when Britney Spears went crazy and took an umbrella to hit an empty car?  Well, the umbrella  went up on Ebay -- starting at $25,000. Although the auction site took the item down, bids exceeded the starting price (and may have been bought offline.) John Lennon's Steinway piano, which he composed 'Imagine,' went for $2 million. The buyer? Singer George Michael. During a 1999 auction, Marilyn Monroe's infamous "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" dress went for $1,267,500. One of Michael Jackson's jewel-encrusted gloves sold for $49,000 in an Australian auction. Judy Garlands ruby slippers from 'The Wizard of Oz' sold to a private collector in 2000 for $666,000.  ***MARLAR: I’m also happy to announce that later today you’ll be able to bid on my old 3XL shirts (I’ve moved up to 4XL).  Bidding is expected to go nowhere.