Larry King went to his doctor for a routine physical checkup.He was asked to step into the restroom and give an embalming fluid sample. 

A new national poll conducted by CNN shows that 7 out of 10 Americans think Sarah Palin is not qualified to be president.

A similar poll conducted by CNN shows that 3 out of 10 Americans are retarded. 

Mariah Carey told Larry King that she drank what she called "ugly juice" to prepare for her role  in the film "Precious".  When the talk show host asked her what it tastes like, Mariah looked at him and replied, "Oh please, Larry, you were obviously raised on the stuff!"

I think we can safely rule out Dobbs joining Telemundo.

It was insanity at CNN in Atlanta yesterday.  First, that ancient anchorman with the bad caps quit his job.  Next, the sex tape video-breast implant-California wacko Carrie Prejean nearly walked off The Larry King Show. The two of them were introduced  in the hallway: "Lou Dobbs, meet "New Knobs"!

The long awaited Michael Jackson film " This Is It " opened yesterday and immediately earned over 2 million dollars . The four remaining Jackson brothers  Jermaine, Marlon, Tito, and Jackie attended the premiere . CNN's Larry King called in to inquire about how the show was doing . Jermaine told King, " It's doing great Larry you should be here, Why aren't you here ? "  Larry replied, " I would but I'm doing my show. You know, I gotta work ."  A puzzled Jermaine thought for a minute then asked his brothers Tito, Marlon, and Jackie  " What does that word "Work" mean anyway ? "   One of the Jackson Brothers mumbled, " I'm sure I don't know but it was good Michael passed when he did because i was flat broke until now . " 

After being in the lime-light during the past few days, reality has now sunk in  . Mayumi Heene faces possible jail-time and may even have her 3 kids taken away . " What are you gonna do now Mrs Heene ? "  asked a CNN reporter .  " I plan go back home soon . I want sneak into North Korea . Please Bill Clinton, No come rescue me ! "   replied Mayumi .

A Halloween costume featuring an alien mask and fake green card is being criticized by immigration rights groups.  "We still expect it to make lots of money." said costume designer Lou Dobbs.

Inadvertent joke of the day: UK legislator Patrick Harvie in a CNN story about the environmental impact on golf balls: "Keep your balls on the fairway or invest in a stock of biodegradable balls."

Larry King celebrated his birthday on November 19.As a precautionary measure,fire retardant material was dropped on his blazing birthday cake.