Burger King announced they’re going to make all their restaurants more futuristic. The new Burger Kings will have rotating chandeliers, TV-screen menus, and a time machine for customers to go into the future and see when they get diarrhea.

Burger King just started selling a body spray that is scented like meat. Finally, a substitute for putting peanut butter on your balls.

Looking to beef up your mojo this year? Burger King may have the answer. The home of the Whopper has launched a new men’s body spray called Flame, The Flame is described as “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.” The fragrance is in stores and online for a limited time for $3.99. For an additional 50 cents you can purchase an upgraded body spray Flame Out, which captures the scent of the gaseous fumes, which follow your consumption of the Whopper Meal Deal.

Obama has his wish. A joint committee met and quickly agreed to a compromise bill. Some pork was added. Each member of Congress gets a gift card from KFC, Burger King, and Pizza Hut for the next 12 months with no spending limits. Senator  Feinstein was pissed, saying she won't eat pork.

After 50 days of steamrolling everything, President Obama has been worn down mentally. As an example, Michelle said one night last week at 11 PM,  "Barackie Boy, I'm hungry for a wopper tonight." So the President sent out a Secret Service agent to an all-night Burger King!                                                

Whopper

In related news: Comedian Doug Benson named Agriculture Secretary. 

In an effort to get more customers to choose dining in over the drive-thru, the country's No. 2 fast-food chain is revamping the interiors of its 12,000 locations worldwide. Burger King hopes this contemporary, upscale look and feel will appeal to its biggest customers -- young men. The design, called "20/20", has been used in about 60 Burger King locations, and 75 more should be complete by the end of the year. The design is intended to give consumers a more "upscale" experience.  ***MARLAR: Do you really need upscale when you’re woofing down a Whopper?  What do you get – a personally monogrammed wet-nap?