...Kevin Federline reportedly has been offered $1 million to lose weight after tipping the scales at 235 lbs.  Federline will earn the money if he can lose 45 lbs.  Britney Spears will double it if he loses the other 190. 

Needless to say, there's no Britney Spears exhibit.

A meaner, tougher, and much more dominant Ann Robinson will be getting her old show back next season .  Scatter-brained, self indulgent,  lady celebrity contestants will be competing in this updated version of " The Weakest Link  " . The opening show will include : Jessica Simpson , La Toya Jackson , Britney Spears , Lindsay Lohan , Mariah Carey , Sarah Palin , Vanna White , Paris Hilton , Beyonce Knowles , and Kendra Wilkinson .  Originally the show was to run for only 30 minutes but Robinson was able to convince the producer she needed at least one hour .   " These 10 Frivolous and Vacuous Tarts are incredibly stupid .  I am going to have to repeat each question at least a half dozen times and kick a few butts before i get any responce . "  Robinson said ................  Tom Cruise and Joe Biden will headline the all male sequel .......................................................................................(kascha-whitney) 

A mom from Minneapolis who was sued by the RIAA has been court ordered to pay $1.9million for illegally downloading and sharing songs. Why couldn't she get busted for something cool? My mom's been in trouble over dealing pot and shoplifting, not because she copied a Britney Spears album! That's gonna be fun to explain to the kids when they have shitty birthdays.

"But Moooooom, why can't I have a cake and presents this year?"

"Well, mommy shared a Hootie and The Blowfish record with 500 friends."

I happened to catch Britney Spears' "If You Seek Amy" followed closely by Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" and then the Pussycat Dolls' "Buttons" on the radio, and y'know, I have a feeling that it won't be too long before we see a female pop group with a truly honest stage name:

"And now, performing their smash hit single 'I Swallow So You'll Like Me' from their debut album titled 'Self Esteem' - give it up for DADDY ISSUES!!"

I think it would make for a nice change of pace, don't you? 

Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum has opened a new exhibit featuring wax figures of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears.  The exhibit is called "House of Whore-ers." 

In the wake of  Michael Jackson's death,  death rumors on the Internet have surfaced for celebrities such as Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, and Jeff Goldblum.   And yesterday there was an Internet rumor that Larry King was still alive.

A clump of Elvis Presley's hair sold for $15,000 at a Chicago auction. But that's nothing. In 2002, a clump of the singer's hair went for almost $115,000! Remember when Britney Spears went crazy and took an umbrella to hit an empty car?  Well, the umbrella  went up on Ebay -- starting at $25,000. Although the auction site took the item down, bids exceeded the starting price (and may have been bought offline.) John Lennon's Steinway piano, which he composed 'Imagine,' went for $2 million. The buyer? Singer George Michael. During a 1999 auction, Marilyn Monroe's infamous "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" dress went for $1,267,500. One of Michael Jackson's jewel-encrusted gloves sold for $49,000 in an Australian auction. Judy Garlands ruby slippers from 'The Wizard of Oz' sold to a private collector in 2000 for $666,000.  ***MARLAR: I’m also happy to announce that later today you’ll be able to bid on my old 3XL shirts (I’ve moved up to 4XL).  Bidding is expected to go nowhere. 

 A new study shows that a surefire way to test for Alzheimers is asking potential cases to identify Britney Spears. If a person doesn't know who Britney Spears is, it doesn't mean they're at risk for Alzheimers, it means they hate shitty music.