The Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers star quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was in a potentially career-ending motorcycle accident yesterday.  In perhaps an overzealous reaction, the San Franciso 49ers purchased motorcycles for every single member of their team.

Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger suffered a head injury after he crashed his motorcycle. Doctors fear the injury is so severe that Roethlisberger will be left with the mental capacity of a Terry Bradshaw.

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who four months ago won the Super Bowl in just his second NFL season, was seriously hurt in a motorcycle wreck yesterday in which he wasn't wearing a helmet.

Roethlisberger underwent seven hours of surgery after suffering a broken jaw, broken nose and cracking his head open.

Answering reporters' questions from his hospital bed, the football star had this to say:

"Listen, I get paid many millions of dollars to wear a helmet at my day job. Game after handsomely paid game I have to sweat inside that confining, life-saving device. When I'm off the field and on my bike, I want to be free and unencumbered. I want to be able to feel the wind in my hair and, more recently, a windshield against my face. Because that's 'my time.' Hey, why are you all twins?"

A visibly exhausted Roethlisberger then kissed a framed bedside photo of Gary Busey and drifted off into a light coma.

The Pittsburg Steelers today admitted that they played in the Super Bowl even though their quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, had at least two small rib fractures which are really, really painful.  Not to be outdone, the Cardinals admitted that they played in the Super Bowl even though their quarterback Kurt Warner, is really, really old.

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger has been accused of raping a woman "last summer" in a Harrah's Casino in Lake Tahoe.  If he did this it's a horrible act that can not be excused.  However, I am leaning towards him not returning any of her phone calls, emails, texts or tweets since last summer and now she's pissed.   

Big Ben Roethlisberger suffered another concussion
evidenced by pouty lips and disoriented ball cap.

In football terms, a mild concussion is known as "getting your bell rung." In Big Ben's case it's called "getting your clock cleaned."

Ben Roethlisberger is accused of rape in Lake Tahoe.Kobe Bryant was accused of rape in Colorado.I think they need to use instant replay,in order to make more definitive calls.These guys were hardened,but are they criminals? 

1. Your guest towels are terrible towels
2. The Virgin Mary in your kitchen is wearing a Steeler helmet
3. You have a moment of silence for Myron Cope before the coin toss
4. A fist fight is okay as long as it is in the vicinity of Three Rivers Stadium
5. So what Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl got arrest for fist fighting at a Steeler game? He was defending the honor of the black and gold.
6. Its okay to get drunk before noon, its game day.
7. Who are the Steelers? It’s Stillers bitches
8. You know what a Roethlisberger  Burger is.
9. You have the Steeler Fight Song on your ipod
10. Your definition of the Great Depression is when Neill O’Donnell lost the Superbowl for the Steelers in 1996.
11. Your idea of a bus isn’t a Greyhound but Jerome Bettis
12. When Roethlisberger got injured you didn’t care if he got brain damage, the question is could he still catch and run? Will he be there on Sunday?
13. On your snack table you have black and gold chips, black and gold popcorn, and black and gold salsa.
14. What do you call a drunk fat guy who is shirtless on Sunday? A Steeler cheerleader.
15. Why does a Steeler fan go to church? To make sure they are on the right side of the field.
16. Your favorite Heinz product is Heinz ward
17. The only two Hawaiian words you know are aloha and Palamalu
18. So what Terry Bradshaw says stupid things. He is a Steeler hero. Therefore what he says is gospel
19. You know what one for the thumb means.
20. Our Big Ben doesn’t tell time

Ben Roethlisberger's accuser is demanding a list of every single woman he has ever had sex with. Might we suggest she start with the Pittsburgh phonebook.