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 Via Harper Bazaar
In a pretty candid interview, Lindsay talks about her relationship with boyish girl DJ Samantha Ronson. After much prodding about whether or not she is a lesbian, Lindsay states, "I think it's pretty obvious who I'm seeing."
When asked if she'd ever been with a girl before, she says "I don't know, maybe"
Are you bisexual? "Maybe"
Would you classify yourself as a lesbian? "No, I dont want to classify myself"
Hmmm... ok... She seems reluctant to admit that she enjoys some muff diving. Let's see if we can fit the pieces of the puzzle together here. First off, Samantha is a DJ, so I'll assume they met at a club. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this club probably served alcohol which Lindsay is rumored to be a fan of. Now if I had some beer goggles on and I took a quick look at the DJ booth, I would say to myself, "That's a pretty cool looking dude, and I bet he knows where we can get drugs." Something tells me, Lindsay didnt even know she was dating a girl till well after the drugs wore off. At which point it was too late to back out, and her choices were: Look Stupid -or- Be Trendy & Bi-curious.
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Q - You turn on Fox News and find a lot of stuff that looks very, very wrong. You think it's a hallucination from living a crazy life as a young adult. George W. Bush is sitting amid a couple cases of old, but cold Billy Beer - now just empty trophies of another bout of drinking alone; a Fox News investigative team is trying to question the dead corpse of a very weird looking albino bigfoot creature lying on the White House lawn; Laura Bush is sneaking a Virginia Slims full flavor near a back door, standing and talking with some housekeepers; Dick Cheney is in the oval office overseeing an obscure sculptor creating the bust of Nicolò Machiavelli; John Edwards is conducting interviews with a line of Hooters Girls for the liberal left's latest "Rock-U-Mentory," El Groucho Moutho Bill Clinton is screaming at an elderly group sightseeing in the White House lobby; and Al Gore is conducting a weird autopsy on an amoeba, staring through an electron microscope holding a very small scalpel and a tiny set of cuticle scissors.
- What in the hell is the matter with this picture?
A. - Nothing - the overall scenario is perfectly normal for the times we're in.
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Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton put on a powerful home run hitting display in the All-Star Game Home Run Derby on Monday night at Yankee Stadium. Hamilton hit a record 28 homers in the first round off of 71-year old pitcher Clay Counsil. Shortly after the contest, the Pittsburgh Pirates announced they were sending Counsil back down to the minors "to work on his control."
see more at :www.jerrywolski.com
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John Daly wowed a crowd at the Buick Pro-Am by driving a golf ball off of an empty beer can. If there's one thing Daly knows how to do, it's drink and drive. The only thing that would have wowed the crowd more is if Daly had left a beer can unopened.
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...have you seen the prices of drinks on an airplane lately....i ordered a beer and it cost me $7.....the only other time in my life that i paid $7 for a beer, the woman who served it to me didnt have any clothes on.
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Two Belgian beer fans have launched “Place to Pee,” a video game played at urinals by two men who ski down slopes or kill aliens by aiming at sensors in the urinal.
The loser replaces the winner’s shoes.
“The game pretty much ends when one guy soaks the other guy’s shoes, so we don’t recommend sandals," one of the game's creators said. "You can’t tip a bathroom attendant enough to wash urine off your toes. They might give you some cologne to spray on your feet, but that only masks the problem. I guess that depends on what evaporates first.
“Also, it can be tricky to find a second player. If you’re trying to get a pickup game going, I’d avoid anything like ‘Wanna play?’ It’s already creepy to skulk around in a public bathroom, but it’s even worse if you’re approaching guys, asking if they want to play, then whipping out a quarter.”
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As you can imagine, with 17 children and an 18th on the way, Mothers Day is the biggest Holiday of the year in the Jim Bob and Michele Duggar family of Little Rock, Arkansa. And this year’s is going to be bigger than ever. Since the discovery ONLY DAYS AGO that Michelle Duggan’s vigina had actually become the Holland Tunnel the family has been in a whirlwind of activity.
“Anyone with any knowledge of the human anatomy would know that you could drive a Mack Truck through there by now.” said Jim Bob Duggar the proud father. He was right because many did. DeBeers Diamond Mining Company, The Alaska Pipeline Corporation of Alaska and a privately funded particle accelerator in Texas were just a few of the interested parties the Duggars had contractual talks with. But in the end it was the Port Authority of New York that won the cavity. “Yes, when we heard of the phenomenal birth volume of this woman we saw a mutual opportunity to reduce maintence expences to New Yorkers and provide the Dugans a little income." Said Captain Barko Lounger. When ask about this maintenance issue Jim Bob responded, “ I have that under hand. I do have to fuck her in the ass just to get any kind of nut, but we can get it in at the last second a few times a year. We are planning to take the family to the city this summer and with the money we will save if the proposed new per passenger toll goes through,,,well,,,we will have beat the game right there. It’s worth the sacrifice.”
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