Toyota announced that it is developing a car that shuts down if the driver is drunk. Immediately, rival Ford announced that "Ford drivers do not need to be drunk for their cars to shut down."

 In related news, Chrysler has also issued a nationwide recall over a leaky trunk.   A Chrysler official will contact the owner tomorrow. 

The man said he was taking advantage of the "Crack for Clunkers" program.

Working titles include "Indiana Jones and the Lost Vial of Viagra," "Indiana Jones and the Early Bird Special," and "Indiana Jones and the Golden Hip Replacement," etc., etc.

What started as a routine test drive ended up being a marathon trip across the country with a kidnapped car salesman. The 32-year-old suspect went to a Honda dealership in Massachusetts and he and the salesman went on a test drive. But the guy refused to turn back around and the salesman was trapped in the car until he finally escaped when the driver slowed down at a tollbooth near the Massachusetts state line. Police finally caught up with the driver over 1,000 miles away in Wisconsin! He was arrested and charged with speeding, reckless driving kidnapping and operating a motor vehicle without owner consent.  ***MARLAR: After finally being stopped the driver did offer to buy the car – but for a discount because it had so many miles on it.

Proctor-Silex, maker of the world's best toasters, is getting into the automobile industry.  The first cars have rolled off the assembly line, look great, and get 35 miles to the gallon.  The only downside so far is that they pop you out of your seat every 8 minutes.  

A recent Bulgarian immigrant found 7,500 dollars stuffed in a shoebox during her first day on the job last week at Goodwill near St. Louis in Glen Carbon, Illinois. Teodora Petrova didn’t hesitate after finding the cash with a pair of donated shoes: she turned the money over to a manager who told executives for the non-profit charity. The president and chief executive of the area’s Goodwill organization said it’s eager to find the owner of the money. Early the next morning, before the Goodwill store opened, the CEO’s of Chrysler, General Motors, and Ford were waiting in line to claim the money.

 Toyota announced that they are introducing a new sportscar, along with a new version of the color red. The red color of a Japanese monkey’s backside. Yeah, I want to own a "Monkey Ass Red" car...and that "new car smell"...yeah, that'll really sell it! Or Smell it!

In the world of owls, there may be none tougher than the great horned owl that flew into the front of a moving Ford F-250 pickup in Haysville, Indiana. Despite becoming trapped inside the grill and mangling the truck's radiator, the owl survived! Conservation Officer Tony Mann said the bird was conscious and appeared to have a broken or dislocated wing and assorted scrapes. He was able to free the owl and sent it to a wildlife rehabilitator in Vincennes for treatment. The truck didn't fare so well and had to be towed from the scene.  ***MARLAR: The car’s owner said having a bird on the grill was pretty cool – he’d always wanted to drive a Thunderbird. 

The Toronto Blue Jays have gotten rid of GM J.P. Ricciardi after eight years of mediocrity. No word yet on whether Major League Baseball will follow suit with the Baltimore Orioles.

Former Bulls GM Jerry Krause has vowed to never step foot in the Basketball Hall of Fame. At least not until they widen the doors.