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Time Machine
Joke Cloud (Popular topics)
Amish
Hot Topic
Amish Jokes

18 Jokes

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A Goody From Our Archive...   October 4, 2006

Tim Young
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The End of the World

By: Tim Young (C)
Submitted: Oct 4, 2006
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Amish

18 Jokes


Dear God,

I understand you are trying to win me back, and perhaps send a sign that the apocalypse is nigh, but when you made the words "Amish School Shooting" appear on my television screen, I think it was a bit overzealous.  I get the point.

Your new convert,
Tim

 


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Hot Topic Amish 18 Jokes
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Doug Johnson
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Amish to Build New School in Pa.

By: Doug Johnson (C)
Submitted: Nov 5, 2006
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Amish

18 Jokes

Expected to be completed by the time you finish reading this sentence.


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kimmy williams
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Odds Are

By: kimmy williams (C)
Submitted: Oct 11, 2006
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Amish

18 Jokes

A lot of people are afraid to fly on airplanes these days, fearing inflight terrorist attacks. I'm thinking, it couldn't be any more dangerous than say, being in an Amish school house.


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Danny Lobell
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Amish school knocked down!

By: Danny Lobell (C)
Submitted: Oct 12, 2006
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Amish

18 Jokes

NICKEL MINES, Pennsylvania- Workers using heavy machinery rather than hand tools early Thursday demolished the one-room Amish school house where a gunman killed five girls and wounded five others. Who’s dumb idea was this, finally a cool tourist attraction to visit in Amish town and they get rid of it! I mean seriously, who wants to go see Isahs butter churner when you can visit Ishaeal’s  school house of death! If 9/11 and Pearl Harbor have taught us anything its that scenes where tragedies occurred are awesome tourist attractions, don’t knock down the school house, print up some T-shirts, commemorative coins and bust out the cash register, it’s payday Jebodiah, oatmeal for everybody! yay!

 


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PJ Brown
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Fuck My Dad

By: PJ Brown (C)
Submitted: Oct 26, 2009
Category: Blogs  
From Hot Topic

Parents

1208 Jokes  31 Videos

My dad doesn't like new technology. Case in point, he still washes by hand. I think it's because he's part Amish, which would make him a Blemish.


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Todd Justice
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Bush focuses on safety

By: Todd Justice (C)
Submitted: Oct 7, 2006
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

George Bush

653 Jokes  17 Videos

In his recent weekly radio address, President Bush stated ..."Our goal is clear: Children and teachers should never fear for their safety when they enter a classroom." Unfortunately, the Amish will never hear it.


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mr j comedy writer http://www.google.com/ profiles/ MrJcomedyWriter
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blog on blog crime comedy writer mr. jones jokes

By: mr j comedy writer http://www.google.com/ profiles/ MrJcomedyWriter (C)
Submitted: Jul 28, 2009
Category: Blogs  
From Hot Topic

Cop

1357 Jokes  15 Videos

blog on blog crime comedy writer mr. jones jokes

 

written by mr.j 2009 (c)

Honestly, when did mouth-breathing-barbaric-louses use the computer so
much that we make Bill Gates look like an Amish Ted Kaczynski?

Look, this pixilated intellectual prism is populated by a parade of
texting, tweeting, twittering, bulletins, blogs, blurbs, black
berries, black boards, e-mails, and g-mails.

For Christ's sake, this human collective's blindly acquisitive nature
of asinine antics has elicited the intrusive perpetuation of the term
'login' more than Paul Bunion at a Lumber Jack Convention.

Listen folks, nowadays the cyberspace-Stargate has reconfigured the
molecular structure of the basic rules of human discourse.

What I'm saying is, banality of banter flourishes like a Blue Angel
soaring through social-stratospheric-chat-fests and caroming off
intergalactic solar plexuses of vastly vacant headed vernacular.

Truth be told, acronyms have stormed the beaches of conversations
resonating from the deepest part of my skull to the pillars of
Hercules to the café at the fucking Thunder Dome okay.

Face it, sump-sucking conversations orchestrate more mouse clicks than
when Mickey tap danced while speaking Ethiopian with a pocket full of
Tic Tacs.


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Baratunde Thurston
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Homegrown Terror

By: Baratunde Thurston (C)
Submitted: Aug 16, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Osama Bin Laden

152 Jokes  7 Videos

An NYPD study on homegrown terrorism concluded that "average citizens who band together and adopt radical ways pose a growing threat to American security." Forget al Qaeda. It's the Amish we gotta watch.

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Jay LaFarr
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Hungry..

By: Jay LaFarr (C)
Submitted: Aug 15, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Amish

18 Jokes

I bought an Amish cookbook. The food looks great, but none of the recipes have microwave directions.

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Terry Tyller
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Outhouse

By: Terry Tyller (M)
Submitted: Nov 18, 2009
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Pennsylvania

136 Jokes  1 Videos

A western Pennsylvania Amish farmer was sentenced Tuesday to 90 days in jail after refusing to bring a pair of outhouses into compliance with state sewage laws. Andy Swartzentruber cited his conservative religious beliefs in refusing to abide by a court order to make the privies used by schoolchildren compliant and pay a $500 fine. In addition to the health issue, some teachers complained the Mr. Swartzentruber did not properly stock the outhouses. In fact, some of the students were using their assignments in the outhouse. A few of the younger students proceeded to turn in the soiled home work.


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Hunter Downs
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No Wattage In The Love Cottage

By: Hunter Downs (M)
Submitted: Jul 27, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Amish

18 Jokes

I've dated a couple of Amish girls in the past.In all honesty,neither one of them turned me on at all. 


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