"She said she had not enjoyed it. Isn't that amazing? Something like 100 million Americans have smoked marijuana. The only people who don't seem to enjoy it are running for office."

Jay Leno

   On "The Oprah Winfrey Show" today, Sarah Palin told the talk show queen that she continues to pray for her estranged, former-son-in-law-to-be, Levi Johnston.

   "Honestly, Oprah," confided Alaska's one-time governor, solemnly, "I've prayed so hard regarding Levi; I just can't understand why the disloyal, disrespectful little prick is still breathing!"     

I have looked into the future.The bad news is: Sarah Palin is elected President on November 6,2012.The good news is:On December 21,2012,the world comes to an end.

Sarah Palin's new book " Going Rouge " will be released in paperback just in time for the holiday season . You can obtain a copy at most local 99 cent stores . Look for it next to the Clapper and Chia Pet .   

Sarah Palin’s book “Going Rogue” is set to hit the bookstores next Tuesday which means by next Wednesday I will be able to see it filling the dumpsters from my house.

On the heels of Sarah Palin's new book,Going Rogue,John McCain has penned one also.It is called Going Rogaine.

Sarah Palin was upset by a Newsweek cover that showed her wearing a skimpy outfit.  John McCain was also upset--that Palin didn't wear that outfit on the campaign trail.

http://www.asylum.com/2009/11/03/forklift-accident-alcohol-crash-moscow/?icid=main|htmlws-main-n|dl8|link2|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.asylum.com%2F2009%2F11%2F03%2Fforklift-accident-alcohol-crash-moscow%2F

Did you see the forklift accident at Vodka wharehouse in Moscow? click link above.

I think the forlift driver may have been nervous that Sarah Palin might have been watching him from her house.

In Anchorage, Alaska, 27-year-old Cheng Saelee robbed his own mother at gunpoint because she wouldn't give him money to help pay a $430 parking ticket! The Anchorage district attorney said that Saelee was also convicted of illegally contacting his mother from jail and trying to get her to drop the charges. Saelee was arrested after he became angry during an argument with his parents, got a handgun from his room and pointed the weapon at his mother.  ***MARLAR: True to a mother’s form though, she immediately spoke up for her son saying he was the best-looking mugger she’d ever seen.

I am glad to see Newsweek using sex to promote the magazine(Sarah Palin cover).  The awful covers of the past were the most unattractive containing the ugliest people.  Now, I hope your highly trained publishing staff takes it to a new level.  Let’s have fold outs of Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Molly Ivin ( oops sorry, past away),  and of course Michelle!.  These could be done tastefully…like that Burt Reynolds fold out years ago.  In order to be politically correct, how about Senators Bird, Reed, and maybe even commentators such as Keith Olbermann.  He is always looking for ways to promote himself-look at Sunday Night Football (talk about odd ball-it's like having Bozo in a discussion with scientists on Global Warming). I would add Limbaugh and some others, but they are not good looking enough for your high quality publication.  I suggest sticking to Liberals, The Beautiful People! Why, maybe your editors could win the Nobel Peace prize for Literature using sex.  After all, sex is true peace!   Gene Stray

Oprah just interviewed Sarah Pailin.  Winfrey could have gotten less convoluted answers from my intestines during a game of Twister.