...al gore has purchased a 100 ft long houseboat...he's been having trouble finding a place to anchor it, so he's going to leave it right where it is....in his pool 

A very angry and defiant Kim Jong IL lashed back at American media yesterday for spreading lies and anti North Korean propoganda . Kim went on National TV to address his tiny isolated country to call Laura Ling and Euna Lee  " Skill-full and dishonest liars of the worst kind ! "  Jong went on to say, Ms Ling and Ms Lee received V.I.P. treatment while guests in his wonder capital . " I gave those two broads first-class accommodations in the 5 star Pyongyang Hilton Hotel . I tell them , Please enjoy all hotel facilities, amenities, health club and gym, swimming pool , and naughty cable in room TV.  I also say, don't worry about bill . No charge for you, everything is comp. for you just like in Atlantic City casino hotel .  So you know what they do ?  Everyday they order meals from room service and make my hotel staff go crazy . They order Rock Lobster, Stone Crab, CherryStone Clam, Rock Cornish Hen, Sand Shark, Sandwich, Chicken Nugget, Marble Cake, Stone Ground Bread, Fruity Peddles, and even Rock Candy !  My girls who work in hotel restaurant not understand English well like me . Maybe they think Ling & Lee eat stone and gravel in America ?  Maybe someone make honest mistake and put tiny rock in her rice by accident ?  Next time I not be Mr. Nice-Guy to troublemaker Al Gore's trespassing reporter friends ! "          .............................................( kascha whitney)  

Bill Clinton decided to help get the journalists freed when Al Gore told him they were interns……

Despite getting lectured by PETA, Al Gore says he isn't going on a vegetarian diet to save the planet. Hey, Al's so fat, if he just goes on any kind of diet, he may save the planet.

Bob May who played the robot in the hit series "Lost in Space" died at age 69.  After his stint on "Lost in Space" May could not find any acting jobs, but he spent many years on the comedy club circuit doing a dead-on impersonation of Al Gore.

The number of Americans who believe there is solid evidence the Earth is warming because of pollution is at its lowest point in three years, according to a survey released Thursday. The poll of 1,500 adults by the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press found that only 57 percent believe there is strong scientific evidence the Earth has gotten hotter over the past few decades, and as a result, people are viewing the situation as less serious. That's down from 77 percent in 2006, and 71 percent in April 2008.  ***MARLAR: Upon hearing the news, Al Gore said it really burns him up, makes him hot under the collar, and gets his blood boiling.

In related news, Al Gore was seen yesterday in a "Big and Tall" store shopping for a hazmat suit.

Despite allegations of voting irregularities and fraud, today Al Gore conceded the election.

The Miss America pagaent was held last night in Las Vegas.   The contestants competed in swimsuit, evening gown, talent, and short interview.  I thought Miss New York had the most unique talent:  car stripping.   Miss Indiana's bikini was so small it had less coverage than my last cell phone carrier.   And Miss Louisiana really look mighty fine in that strapless evening gown.  She was so hot Al Gore blamed her for a one degree rise in the earth's temperature.